If all I get from my relationship with you is an escape from this corporeal world, then that’s good enough.
I know you love me. You have proved it to me multiple times. I searched for you my whole life. And you came as promised. But you know what I am sad about? I’m ashamed to say that I want more. Not more stuff, but more intimacy. You want more too, eh? Well this is why I’m here sitting in my room. I just enjoy being with you. I feel alive and full in your presence. Nothing else matters.
This corporeal life stresses me out. Fuck, I slept all morning. My mundane tasks bore me. I would like to do something more interesting than clean, organize stuff, file paper, cook, and listen to people talk. I like creating stuff. I created some houses in Minecraft. It makes me happy even though no one cares, except my kids (they said my houses were nice). Adults don’t care about creativity, especially within video games.
I want to create things that will uplift people.
I also have an ego who wants to be recognized. When I was in primary school, I wished I had big angel wings, that I could spread out when I walked out of the school, and fly away home. All the kids would see me and be in awe. I always wanted this kind of recognition. I wish I could be happy with just being an ordinary man.
I have strange desires. Corporeality does not allow them. So I play with virtual realities and my imagination:
I have wings that no one knows about
My father is a god
My mother is human
So I’m a demigod!
I’ve kept my wings hidden most of my life
Flying is going above corporeality
and seeing it from a higher perspective
Like Horus, the Egyptian falcon god!
The Eye of Horus = seeing things from above
Up there, there is nothing but peace… and light
I see this man down there
I know this man
I control this man
I can go inside this man and see through this man’s eyes
and experience the world within this man’s body
feel what he feels
hear what he hears
He’s my vehicle
I intend to always remember who I am.
I intend to make this body do interesting things.