Coming Out

Freedom1

Today someone liked a blogpost I wrote over 10 months ago.  It’s the one entitled My Frigging Loved Ones.  So I reread it.  Something struck me.  This sentence:

“I noticed that I started to transform and I’m afraid that if ever I decide to come out, no one will recognize me.”

When I wrote “to come out” I was not referring to sexual orientation.  But now I’m looking at my recent posts, and it seems to me that this is what’s happening.

I’m a bit disappointed because this is not what I expected.  When I wrote it ten months ago, I was referring to coming out of my cocoon.  Hopefully with wings.  Like a butterfly.  I was thinking of death and resurrection, not a switch in physical attraction to people.

Is this what my metamorphosis was all about from the beginning?

– Relationships are what allows you to discover yourself.

So relationships are very important in the process of personal transformation.

– Indeed.

Interesting…  I never realized that there was such a close connection between sexual orientation and spiritual development.

I feel the need to come out.  At least on my blog.  This morning I read another blogger’s post and I feel called to do the same as her.  But at the same time, I don’t think it matters much.  I don’t think it will have an effect on anyone else.  Some readers might be turned off.  But I’m going to do it anyway.

Here it goes:

I am bisexual.  Sometimes I am physically attracted to a male.  Sometimes I am physically attracted to a female.  Sometimes I am attracted to both.  Sometimes I am attracted to none.  At this moment my attraction leans toward males.  I’m sure it has something to do with the disappointment I am currently experiencing regarding my last intimate relationship with a female.

To me, sexuality is about intimacy.  Getting close to someone physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually.  It’s not just about physical pleasure, but also about the joy of sharing on many levels.  We never know what a relationship can bring.  Sometimes it’s pleasant, sometimes it’s not.  But one thing is certain.  Relationships stimulate self-discovery and growth.  Therefore, who I choose to be intimate with matters much.

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24 thoughts on “Coming Out”

  1. It’s ok. Be who you think you are. It may take a while to figure it out, but you are ok, and it is ok. I don’t even know you, but I feel love for you and care about you and your struggles.
    If you were my child, I would want you to know it is all going to be ok, no matter who you are. Take care my friend, and be proud you are working on this journey of self discovery.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. We are all both male and female, husband’s and wife’s, we are all both at the same time. We just have different roles in this Earth time. And if that role is to be bisexual that is totally fine. It all serves to the great Journey of finding the truth of who you really are. A beautiful Soul.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Hey there 😊 this is amazing and incredibly brave of you even if it is just on your blog. I’ve recently learnt that labels are so taxing but it is what society expect. As we know, we live in a world where it is easier if you fit in a specific box. Don’t ever let that force you to label yourself. With that said- congratulations for reaching this point in your journey. Love is love and love wins. As long as you love, you’re doing great. ❤❤❤❤

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Oh my!! Your comment makes sense now 😀 I am so proud of you!! Your statement about sexual orientation and spiritual development, and your last paragraph really hit home for me. Sexual fluidity allows exploration of parts of the self few get to experience. Thank you for sharing this ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Acceptance and realisation are two basic steps to move further and you have achieved both….now it’s a journey to move ahead and you will successfully be able to do that. Search of self…
    All the very best!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment this post. You know I have enormous respect for you. The depth of your insight is a quality I highly admire in you. Therefore your opinion, to me, is more precious than a jewel.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. This means a lot! I have no words to say thanks to you!
        Also I’m feeling ashamed to not visit your blog regularly due to my busy schedule! I will try my best to be more regular from now on.
        My best wishes are always with you!!

        Liked by 1 person

  6. I think this is one of your finest works, although you really are shining as a writer these days. I thought this was a beautiful and earnest exploration of desire, how it manifests itself in our lives, how we self-identify and how other’s identify us. Being yourself seems like more than enough to me. Your pal, Harlon

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Harlon: discovering your blog, reading it and being in contact with you has helped me take a few more baby steps toward self-realization. So, from the bottom of my broken heart, thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

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