I should post something today
– Why?
To keep my mind from…
– From what?
To keep my mind from tumbling
– Tumbling?
Yeah, tumbling
– Interesting word
Why?
– Do you know what it means?
I think so
– Did you look it up?
No
– Why don’t you do so?
Ok… tumble
Holy f… !
I felt safe inside my bubble
Until I turned into a rebel
Now I accept the unacceptable
And don’t respect the respectable
My new flag is colorful
And my briefs are edible
My dreams are probable
And my fantasies plausible
My shoulders are huggable
And my lips are kissable
My thighs are touchable
And my excitement is visible
My ideas are unconventional
And my secrets discoverable
My hunger is insatiable
And my thirst unquenchable
If I find you irresistible
Oh man, you’re in trouble
When was the last time I panicked?
I think it’s when I imagined myself reconciling with my wife and then the two of us making love.
After I had this thought, there was a pain in my stomach. I felt my guts twisting. My intestines turned to mush and I had to run to the bathroom. This is what happens when I panic.
I don’t quite understand because it was not a bad thought. Maybe this shows how much our relationship has deteriorated. Or maybe it shows how afraid I am of getting close to a person I don’t trust.
Is this what survivors of abuse call a trigger?
Metamorphosis 