Timidity

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

It’s obvious that you have been trying to attract my attention

Okay so I have stopped doing all that I was doing

Now why are you not saying anything?

I give you 100% of my attention

And I am listening

. . .

More?

You want more?

How much more can I give you?

What?  You want to see more of me?

What would you like to see?

You must be joking!

I’m blushing

Stop it

It’s tempting

I’m not sure I can

Am I allowed to show you that?

I’m afraid that it might get me in trouble

But I am nevertheless glad to know that you are interested

No one has ever been that curious about this private part of me

I get a strange feeling when you look at me like that

Is it possible for anyone to like me this much?

Your intentions are definitively harmless

There is no doubt about that

The problem is me

I am shy

Afraid to reveal

An intimate part of me

Although I absolutely trust you

Then what’s holding me back?

I am a mystery to myself

Did you know that?

How can I reveal

A part of me

That I have not even

Discovered

Myself

?

Intruders

They pry
They poke
They enter
They come in
They get into
They break in
They trespass
They transgress
They offend
They infract
They violate

I don’t like these intrusions
I can’t stand these transgressions
I can’t take these violations

There is nothing here to learn
Except to protect myself
Against foreign invasions

My Secret

secret

I have a secret.  I’m not going to tell you what it is because…  it’s a secret.  But if you have been reading my blog, you probably have figured it out already.

I’m in love.  But I’m not going to tell you who the person is because…  it’s a secret.  But if you have been reading my blog, you probably know already.

I’m ashamed.  But I’m not going to tell you why because…  it’s a secret.  But if you have been reading my blog, you probably have an idea.

I’m not suggesting that you should read my blog.  I don’t want anyone to read my blog because…  it’s private.  But if you have been reading it, no damage was done.

No reader really knows who I am.  I have not given anyone I know access to my blog.  I could be your neighbor.  I could be a family member.  I could be your spouse.

I have a few secrets.  This blog is one of them.  It’s my private world, where I come to play with my thoughts, my emotions and my desires.  I play with people and I play with gods.  I play with mortals and I play with immortals.  I play with you.

I’m in love.  But I’m not going to tell you who he is because…  you don’t know her.  Unless you know yourself.  Then you know already.

I’m ashamed, because of my…  exposure.

I don’t know if I shall ever be willing to give up this fear within.  This fear of what would happen if they’d ever find out my secret.

Are secrets meant to remain hidden?  Apparently not.  Is this fear a friend, or is it an enemy?  Does fear come to haunt me or is it there to protect me?  I can’t tell you because I don’t know.

Meanwhile I will probably keep on writing, to relieve myself of this burden I carry.  A secret burden which is, paradoxically, light.  A load that opens up freedom within me.