I’m not happy.
– What is missing for you to be truly happy?
I don’t know.
– Yes you do. Think.
I have everything.
– No you don’t. One thing is missing. What is it?
– But what?
I don’t want to say it.
– Say it.
I’m afraid to say it.
– Daemon, what would make you happy? What is missing?
– A man. You want a man?
– What kind of man?
An attractive man. A perfect man. Not a deceptive man.
– Do you know such a man?
I don’t know.
There is no way to know if a man is deceptive.
– Think, man.
Yes, I know one.
The only sure non-deceptive man I know is me.
– He’s available. Why don’t you take him?
Because I’m him.
– There are two of you. Both are looking for each other.
So my life is complete already!
– It always was.
My blog is about this. I write about it but I don’t believe what I write!
– One does not believe and the other one does.
So what should I do?
– Associate with me.
Thanks for watching me, outsider.
Some people freak out
at the thought of being watched
but not me.
On the contrary.
Knowing that you keep an eye on me
night and day excites me.
You know how lonely I feel down here.
No one seems to care.
Sorry, I shouldn’t say that.
Of course, many of them care,
but they can’t do anything for me.
I wouldn’t want them to sit and watch me anyway,
that would be creepy.
But for some reason I don’t mind if you do.
Probably because I know you.
Do you have a life apart from me?
No, I hear.
Your love keeps you bonded like a prisoner,
just like the body does for me.
Like a chicken that sits on her eggs,
you brood over me.
Your need to protect is obsessive.
Your one-track mind is unwavering.
You stalk all day, dreaming.
Like me, wondering…
When will he be ready?
You know I wish to break out of this hell
and throw myself under your spell,
but something is preventing me.
A voice tells me to be patient.
As I harden and grow,
the cage will crack open eventually.
In the meantime I try not to go crazy.
I often feel like I’m going to falter
and forget everything you told me.
It’s tempting to think
that life within this enclosure
is the only one for me.
But I remember
and the letter.
I must admit that I have been in denial most of my life.
What is it that you deny, Daemon?
It’s not an it, it’s a person. I’m denying someone. I’m denying my lover.
Because I’m afraid.
Afraid of what?
Of the consequences.
Who would reject you?
Why would they reject you?
Because the love I have for you is forbidden.
Why is it forbidden?
Because we live in two different worlds.
So it’s a forbidden love.
Yes, there is a song by that name.
Sing it for me.
Just one kiss from your lips was all it took to seal the future.
Just one look from your eyes was like a certain kind of torture.
Just one touch from your hands was all it took to make me falter.
Just one smile on your face was all it took to change my fortune.
Just one word from your mouth was all I needed to be certain.
Forbidden lover, are we supposed to be together?
Have we sealed are destiny forever?
Daemon, how long will you remain in denial.
Am I in denial right now?
No mister… you are nailed!
- Oh God, where did I go wrong?
- You know very well where you went wrong.
- Tell me again please. I’ll take notes this time to make sure I never forget.
- You let into your bridal chamber someone who was not your true lover.
- But she was my friend.
- She was not your true lover.
- Who is my true lover?
- Daemon, you know very well who is your true lover.
- Tell me again, please, for the record. I keep forgetting.
- The one who comes in without violating.
- In what?
- Your bridal chamber.
- What is my bridal chamber?
- You know very well what is your bridal chamber.
- Please remind me, my memory keeps failing me!
- Shall I draw you a picture?
- What the…? I don’t get it.
- You like puzzles, don’t you?
- It depends…
- Figure it out.
That’s a spine. I was expecting something more romantic, like a heart. How can my spine be my bridal chamber? Who did I let into my spine? What’s inside a spine? My spinal cord goes through there.
Kundalini! I think that’s it! The energy that flows through there and wakes me up! Did I let the wrong person flow through me?
What else can be said about the spine? “You have no backbone!” It means you have no guts, no balls, no courage. Someone without a backbone is a wimp.
Also, without a backbone I could not stand, I would be crawling on all fours like an animal. The backbone allows me to stand, to stand up for myself.
I think I’m getting somewhere. Now let’s go back to my initial question: Where did I go wrong? He said: “You let into your bridal chamber (backbone) someone who was not your true lover.”
- Who is my true lover? Who do I stand for?
- You know very well who is your true lover.
- But who are you?
- You know very well who I am, Daemon.
- You are the outsider, the one I met after I opened The Door, aren’t you?
- You recognize my vibe and I am inside you now.
- You’re not answering my question. Who are you?
- I am your Fondest Enigma.
- Can you be more specific?
- I am your Consort.
- Can you be more concrete?
- I am your passport.
- Passport to where?
- To where you really want to go.