Will I Live Forever

Looking back at my life, I realize how much time I have spent trying to connect with others.  And in the end, what do I get?

I know that I am not at the end of my life yet, but let’s say that I was, that this was my last day.

I am all alone now.  Everyone I have known is going their own way.  I wonder if my presence matters.

My presence matters to me, but does it matter to the others?

Take my best friend, for example.  He was my cousin.  He was my best friend from age 10 to probably 25.  Then both of us got married and with time we stopped seeing each other, then we stopped writing and now he is nothing more than a facebook image.

We could reconnect and make our friendship meaningful again, but then we could never reconnect ever.  At this point in his life, I don’t think my presence matters to him.  And his presence does not really matter to me either.  It could be him or it could be another, but it would be nice to have a friend.

But friends don’t last forever.  Or do they?  It depends on my life.  Does my life last forever?  Will I live forever?  Will a part of me never die?

If I live forever and all the friends that I ever had live forever also, then how can I say that friends don’t last forever?

So many things depend on whether or not I live forever.  And THIS, from where I stand today, is a question of belief or faith.

From what I perceive with my five senses, death is a reality and death is the end of life as I know it.  Death of the physical body that is — deterioration of the flesh and bones.

But some say that my consciousness will remain… alive, or aware.  And there are many indications that this might be true.  But no physical proof, of course, since consciousness is not physical.

It’s funny that the Universe did not bother giving me more concrete proof of everlasting life if this is indeed my destiny.  As if it didn’t matter.  It DOES matter!  Every decision I take could and should be based on the fact that either death is the end or it’s not.

Why does Life think that it’s a good idea to keep me in the dark when it come to this question?  If my life is eternal, why does Life choose to show me that the death of my physical body means the end of me?  It seems like a very important question, but Life seems to mock me.

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Short-lived Existence

I spent a good part of my life thinking that I would die soon.

Why?  Where did this idea come from?

Let’s take a walk down memory lane.

My father.  He would often speak about the “end of the world.”  He would read on the subject and leave his books lying around the house.  I remember one book in particular: The Vision by David Wilkerson.

Wilkerson was an American Christian evangelist.  I think I was 13 years old when I read his book The Vision.  My father was a firm believer that the Second Coming of Christ was going to happen soon and that we should therefore prepare ourselves for the afterlife and not bother making long-term plans to attain temporal success in the material world.

I was a naive, impressionable boy.  My dad’s way of thinking had a profound impact on my thinking.  I expected the end of the world to happen any day.  I thought more about my death than about my life.  I wonder how normal this was — if it was a good thing or a bad thing as I was growing up.

I know one thing.  It greatly affected my mindset.

I watched my peers as I grew up and could not understand why they were so preoccupied with the things of this world: school, money, career, prestige.  I was concerned with something quite different.  My father used to say: “The most important thing in life is your relationship with God.”  I believed him.

Today I wonder.  What am I trying to prove with my blog?  That I have a relationship with God?  Am I just trying to impress my father?  Am I trying to convince myself and others that this life is unimportant?  Maybe this life is more valuable than I think.

My father died in 2004.  The end of the world did not happen during “this generation,” as he used to say.  He was quite certain that he would live to see the Second Coming of Christ.  He didn’t.  Or maybe he did, on some other level of consciousness.  I don’t know.

Living as though the end is near…  does it push me to live fully or does it depress me?  I think it does both.  It makes me ponder, for one thing.  It makes me turn inward.  It makes me introspect.  It turns me into an introvert.  It makes me think that perhaps the end of Daemon will never come…  or that it came already.

The Birth of a Star

Maybe if I would shine so bright, it would blind everyone around me.  They would not be able to come close.  They would not be able to tempt me and rape me.

I should shine so bright and so hot that no one would be able to come near.  They would refrain from approaching and admire me from afar.  Bask in my light from a distance.

Maybe this is what I was meant to be.  A star, not a black hole.  A black hole is dark and it absorbs everything that ventures near it.  It steals everything, becoming denser and denser, heavier and heavier.  It sucks its victims, like a vampire.

The Avatar

When you look at existence from the perspective of a mortal, it sucks.

Mortals are doomed.

Where is the hope for the mortal person?

Your hope is in me, mortal!  I am the non-physical you.  Identify with me.  I am beyond and above everything you see with your two eyes.  I’m super-conscious because I see things from the perspective of an immortal.  I AM immortal, and I AM the real you.

Sit there and bitch about your life all you want.  Get drunk and smash your head against the wall.  You won’t get anywhere until you turn to me for help.  But you won’t do that.  You say:  “I’ll turn to him when I see him.”  I say to you:  “Turn to me and you’ll see me.”

Or perhaps, even better:  “Turn to me and you’ll hear me.”  They say that seeing is believing but sometimes I wonder.  You see, your definition of the word “see” is arranged.  Someone arranged it this way to make sure you would never see me.  Push the limits of your sight and get out of the “range” that was set before you.

The scope of your perception is your prison.  You refuse to look farther than the walls of your cage.  They tell you that what’s on the other side is scary and dangerous.  They tell you that whoever ventures there goes crazy.  Do not be afraid.  Look at your limitations now.  It’s your own restrictions that are driving you crazy.

Dare to see the things you don’t usually see and hear the things you don’t usually hear.  It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it elevates your spirit.  Your super-conscious mind knows exactly what you need to hear.  Let him speak to you.  Sit down with pen and paper, laptop or computer, and type out the words you need to hear to uplift your crushed soul.

Position your mind above your daily grind, like you do when you play a video game in third-person view.  You know what third-person view is, don’t you?  This view refers to a different perspective of self from a distance behind and slightly above the player.  This viewpoint allows you to see a more strongly characterized human and his environment.  You actually have the ability to do this.  Use your imagination if you have to, it’s legal.  Imagination is not just for kids, it’s for adults too.

From this new point of view, you’ll notice that you gain a bit of wisdom, love and power, which you can transfer to your regular mortal self.  Life is the best video game ever.  So well-made, so immersive, it actually feels real when you play your character.  It becomes a nightmare and a prison when you forget who you really are.  The person who controls the player is the real you.  What you see in the mirror is your character, an embodiment, an avatar.

What are you going to do when it’s Game Over?

Don’t wait.  Start now.
Be who you really are.
You’re not the avatar.

Your Pet

This is you.  This photo represents the whole you.  The woman in the picture symbolizes your soul and the man symbolizes your physical body.

Your soul is the real you.  It is an immortal free spirit.  Your physical body is the pet that was assigned to you by God.  It is mortal.  The Creator wants to see how responsible your spirit is, if you are willing and able to take care of a living buddy.  Before giving you a permanent ethereal body, God is testing you to see if you are trustworthy towards living creatures.

So the purpose of your life on earth is pretty simple:  to take care of your pet, your body, with its physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual needs.  If you succeed, you will pass the test and be granted a permanent glorified body, after your temporary earth pet dies.

You fail the test if you kill your pet (suicide), if you kill someone else’s pet (murder), or if your pet becomes your god (idolatry).

You see, spirituality is exciting, fun and very simple.  Just accept the fact that you are a spirit in charge of a pet and everything will fall into place.

– – – – – – – – – –

This is what I am inspired to write this morning, thanks to David who first gave me the idea last month when I read his blogpost entitled You Are Not a Physical Body, in which he states:  “Your body is your pet, it is not you.”  Thanks David.

The Cobra

“Don’t you realize that I am with you?  Look at me!  I’m right beside you.  I’m sitting next to you.  You are not alone.  You are never alone.  You asked me to always be there, I will always be there.  I’m keeping an eye on you all the time.  Remember what we said in the palace?  We are still in the same room, in the den, remember?  Daemon, you had a bad dream.  Wake up fully, man!”

You are right.  That was a bad dream.  It was so graphic, I thought it was real.

“You and I, here, together, this is reality.”

Yes.

“Let’s have a drink.”

*I take the glass.*

“To us!  To the kingdom!  To Daemon’s new kingdom!”

*Cling!*  – Drink –

Ahhh, good stuff!  Thanks.

“Now take off your armor, lay down, I have a surprise for you.”

Three minutes later:  (Utterance 77)

Oil, oil, arise, open thou
Thou who art on the crown of the Sky
Arise, open thou
From the mouth of the Sky
To the tip of this Daemon

Make him sweet with thyself
Glorify him with thyself

Oil, oil, arise!
Open yourself!
Awake thou in peace
As your cobra awakes

Make him happy with himself
Make him lovable to himself
Make him to have power over his body

“Your cobra has awakened, Daemon.  He represents your creative life force.  He is the symbol of rebirth, transformation, immortality and healing.  He is also a symbol of eternity and continual renewal of life.  He also represents pure desire of all you want attracted to you.  He is a potent guardian, the protector of your sacred spaces:  your palace, your body, your temple.”

I’ve never been treated like this before.  My heart is warm and satisfied.  Look at my excitement, my cobra is alive!  Take my hand, Sky.  You are my new companion.  You are indeed with me.  Now I see.  I am in you.  You are in me.

 – – – – – –
Illustration by Michelle Berg
Text by Daemon

I’m Not My Body

Am I my body?  Have you ever asked yourself this?

I’ve never felt that my body was me.  Even as a kid, I remember thinking that my body was just a vehicle.  I was like a little man sitting behind the windows of my eyes, driving my body around.  This was fun.

What is wrong with this world is that it tries to convince me that I am my body.  Where did they get that idea?  What a stupid idea.  I don’t buy it at all.  Not anymore.  I bought this idea for a while, but then decided to reject it.  It didn’t serve me well.  It’s just bullshit.

You can believe whatever you want, but if you choose to believe that you are your body, then this is what your reality will become.  Fun at first, but eventually your life will become a nightmare.  Because there is no hope for the body.

I don’t hate my body, but I’m not in love with it either.  It’s like my car.  It’s useful to move around.  I can use it to manipulate the stuff around me.  It also serves to express myself to others.  But my body is not me, it’s a tool.  A living tool which has an expiry date.

Those who identify with the body live as mortals.  Those who do not identify with the body have a better chance at survival.

Surviving death.  The purpose of life is to survive death.  To become immortal.

Immortality starts with not identifying with the body.

Look at yourself in the mirror and say:  “This is not me.  It’s my vehicle.  And it’s getting older.  It’s slowly dying.  And that’s fine.  I’ll continue feeding and taking care of it but I’m not giving my life to it.  Keeping this body alive as long as possible is not necessarily the recipe for happiness.  My sense of self is located somewhere else.  This vehicle belongs to the earth, and it will stay with it.  I do not belong to the earth and I don’t intend to remain attached to it forever.”