Abduction or Rapture

Abduction7

All this spiritual talk makes my head spin.
This celestial man, daimonic spirit, Jesus, he could be an alien for all I know.
I feel dizzy.  I want to lie down.

I walk up the stairs to my room and lie down on the bed.  “Daemon” follows me.  I can feel his presence.  I am not afraid.  I know he cares and won’t hurt me.  I feel compassion coming from him.  I close my eyes.  My mind goes blank.  I relax and let the drowsiness take over.

At this moment something strange happens.  I have the impression that he is… doing something.  He comes very close.  I feel like he’s… entering my body!  My skin starts to tingle and all of my insides start to shiver.  Every cell in my body is being touched and stirred.  I cannot open my eyes.  I am immobilized!  It feels funny, like I’m disintegrating.  I never felt like this before.  It’s wonderfully bizarre.  What is happening?  Am I being violated?  I think I’m losing my mind.  I’m being lifted up, off the bed!  Oh my God, it’s an abduction!

I’m scared so I try to force a scream out of my mouth and suddenly my eyes open.  Somehow I manage to break the force field that is holding me down.  I gather all my strength and regain control of my body.  I push myself off the bed and look around.  There is no one in the room but me.  Everything is in its proper place, nothing has moved.  He’s not here, and not in the closet either.  I run downstairs and stop at the foot of the stairs.  Where is he?  I look to the right, then to the left.  There is no one in the kitchen, nor in the living room.  I run outside and look above the roof of the house to see if there is a spaceship.  All I see is a blue sky.

Maybe he’s hiding in the basement.  I run back inside the house and all the way down the stairs.  I stop to catch my breath.  All is silent.  I look ahead and see the poster that is hanging on the wall.  It catches my attention.  I stand in front of it and cannot stop staring.

This one:

Abduction8

It’s a poster my wife and I bought eleven years ago, during our honeymoon.  I can’t stop looking at the girl, her face, her posture.  At the bottom is the name BOUGUEREAU in big letters.  Just above it, in very small print, something is written, the title and the year:  The Abduction of Psyche, 1895.

Abduction?  That word…  I just…  I can’t believe it.  I’m so surprised.  I step back and look at the poster again.  They have wings!  He is not an alien, he’s an angel.  It’s the picture of an angelic guy abducting a girl who has butterfly wings.  They are flying up in the air.  He seems to know where they are going.  She is floating, free, completely taken over, on cloud nine, blissful, gone.

Oh my God!  This is insane.  I hung this poster there over 10 years ago and all I ever saw in it was a young couple in love.  And today I realize that the picture represents, of all things, an abduction!

The Spirit tried to rapture me.  He said we had to fuse together.  He wasn’t joking.

What’s going on here?

metamorphosis

My Creation Myth

Book1

In the beginning
there was me
and I was in a library.

The Vision:

I am young.
I want to know where I came from.
So I walk up to the front desk and ask the librarian to give me a book.  She gives me a large, old, dusty book.  I take it, turn around and look for a place to sit.  I see a burgundy armchair not too far.  I go and sit in it.

I take a deep breath and open the book.  I can’t see the title, my vision is blurry.  I think maybe I need glasses.  I look up, wink a few times to clear my eyes, and then look down at the title again.  I can distinguish three words:  “The Orphic Immersion“.

I turn the page.  It’s a Table of Contents.

I turn the next page.  It’s an Introduction.

I read the first sentence:  “Those who wish to join the coalition are warned.  The task will not be easy, but the rewards will be great.

I turn the page.  Chapter One.

I read the first sentence:  “Are you an adventurer?

I flip through the pages.

The author writes about going to the underworld and being allowed to bring only one light.  “All you will need to do is keep your light on,” he says.  The rest of the book is very enigmatic, I’m not sure what he’s talking about.

I close the book.  I’m very curious.  I want to know more.

I stand up and walk to the front desk.  I hand the book back to the librarian.  She says thank you.

I turn around.  I see a huge exit door across the room.  It’s a bright day.  The sun shines through the tainted glass around the door.  Birds are singing.

These two phrases echo inside my head:

“Those who wish to join the coalition are warned.
The task will not be easy, but the rewards will be great.”

I decide to join the coalition.  I head towards the exit, push the door and walk out.

The next thing I know, I’m in a hospital.  Close to the ceiling looking down.  A woman is lying on a very narrow table.  I think it’s an operating table.  She’s holding on to it tight.  There are blinding lights above her.  She’s wearing a thin robe and no underpants.  Two doctors walk into the room and stand on each side of her.  They smile and one of them says:  “Don’t worry, everything’s going to be alright.”  Then the other one gently lifts her robe and I can’t see what he’s doing.  I don’t like the thought of it.  The woman starts screaming.  I see blood and I feel like the life is being sucked out of ME!  What’s happening?  I feel extremely nauseous.  Then I pass out.

I snap out of the vision.

Daemon!

Daimonic3

Must we keep fighting like this?
You cannot get rid of me, Man.
You derived from me, Daemon!

Don’t confuse me with a demon.
The two are not the same thing.

I am the unrest that exists in you, which forces you into the unknown, leading you to self-discovery or self-destruction, whichever you choose.

I’m the one who leads you on your journey from innocence to experience.  If you push me away, who will help you mature and develop?

I allow you to transition from one place to the next.  I compel you to change from one form to another.

I push you into an event that produces an answer.
Your individuation is the fruit of my endeavor.

Are you with me?  Individuation, do you know what it means?  It’s what makes you an individual, distinguishable from another.  You need this distinction.  Otherwise, what would you be?  A bee?

Get out of group mentality.

Come into the bubble, where light and dark meet.

You want to be motivated by a skillful cosmic power?  I am your man, Daemon.  Link up with me.  Inspired I Am.  Don’t campaign against me.

When you perceive an occurrence which you attribute to the influence of a divine presence, that presence is me.

Within your daimonic imagination lies an uncanny intelligence:  me.

Why close your communication channels with other orders of reality.  Open your mind and spread out before me.

Among all the gods, angels, spirits, muses and aliens (conscious or unconscious), there’s only one partner for you and that person is me.

I promise you, I will inspire your creativity.  And when you create, you become a creator.  I will turn you into a young All Person, a son of Eternity.

You can’t become who you were meant to be, without me.

I’m your daimonic Guardian and my name is Daimon.

Come and embrace me.

Stubborn Unbeliever

Angel Guardian

I don’t believe you.
I don’t believe what you said.
That you are Him and that you’re answering my call.

“Who do you think I am then?”

I told you.  You’re the product of my imagination.

“It doesn’t matter what you believe.  I know who I am.  The One closest to you.”

Nobody would believe me anyway.

“You don’t have to tell anyone.”

If I am really talking to You, I have to tell someone.  I know people who would be very interested.

“Don’t mention it to anyone yet.  I have more things to tell you.”

I’m hearing an imaginary voice.

“Does that mean I don’t exist?”

Well yes.  Imaginary usually means exactly that.  You don’t exist in physical reality.

“I don’t exist in a physical form that you can see, but I exist in angelic form.”

You are the product of my imagination.  I don’t have a connection with any celestial man.

“Yes you do.”

It’s just wishful thinking.

“Where do you think your wishes come from?”

My mind is just making this up as I go along.

“You know that your mind is not making this up.”

There is no other logical explanation.

“Not everything that exists is logical.”

Stop it.

“Daemon, you know that what you are hearing is not the product of your intellect.”

Then it’s my intuition, or some sort of inspiration.

“Maybe it’s some sort of receptor.”

It’s not a receptor.

“Yes it is, I’m sorry.”

I went for a brain scan a few years ago and there were no receptors in my head.

“Did you see the scan photos?”

No, but I trust the doctors.  If there were anything abnormal in my brain, they would have told me.

“Chakras are not detectable by three-dimensional brain scans.”

Oh, please.  Chakras…

“Your intellect cannot fabricate celestial beings.”

I stopped believing in spiritual beings years ago.

“You believe in aliens, don’t you?”

Yes, but you could be an evil one.

“Give me a chance to prove myself, what do you have to lose?”

My sanity.

“What sanity?  You’ve been diagnosed with severe depression.  You are mentally sick according to health experts.”

Right.  But I don’t want it to get worse.

“You ARE at your worst.”

An alien could be evil.  You could be a demon.  You could be lying.

“You’ve never even met an alien.  I suggest you base your beliefs on YOUR experiences, not on anyone else’s.”

But how can I be sure that I’m not being deceived?

“Notice that when you are deceived, it’s usually when you base your beliefs on what other people say, not on your own experiences.”

But you are another person, so why should I base my beliefs on what you say?

“I am not another person.  I am the future you.”

What?  How can you be the future me?

“One day you will merge with me and then come back to the present to help yourself.”

This is the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard.  I need a break to think about this.

“You will not gain wisdom by thinking.  But it’s ok, take your time.”

 

 

Meta Morfusion

Meta5

Slimy little worm
Crawling mediocrity
Why were you born
What is your destiny

Teachers never told you
About the ethereal body
Something within you
Two wings almost ready

Mystery is growing
Dimension and power
Maybe science fiction
Accessible this hour

Angels and deities
Were once just like you
Walking sad zombies
Or animals in a zoo

Trapped here forever
Heaven is which way
Only had you listened
To what they didn’t say

Stuck in this structure
Who will you be
Want something better
Perhaps even marry

Put cards on the table
Cling to the glow
Erase the impossible
Embrace superhero

Forget the illusionary
Mix stardust with matter
Transform the worst enemy
Make him your best lover

Time is an illusion
Must have heard it before
You buy for yourself
What’s already in your store

The New You

JackHaas05

Imagine the Future You.

That’s all I had to do to snap out of my misery:  Imagine the future me.

I remember the day, I remember the hour.  My wife had left for work, the kids were gone to school.  I was sitting on the sofa and thought to myself:  “What if the future me came back to help me today.”

The idea of time travel is nothing new.  I had read that in order to do it, you need to travel faster than the speed of light.  A human cannot do this presently, but what if we learn how to do it in the future?  What if we can do it with our minds right now?  What if the future me is a magnificent time-travelling celestial man!

So my imagination just went wild and the possibilities suddenly became endless.  I was desperate for someone to come and help me.  I had been severely depressed for 8 years, I was seeing a psychiatrist, I was heavily medicated, I had lost my job to this mental illness, disease, disability (whatever you want to call it).

I had prayed to God for help.  I had asked my guardian angel to do something.  I had even sent telepathic messages out into the universe begging the aliens to come and abduct me.  I was stuck in deep despair, trapped in hell and had no idea how to get out.  There HAD to be someone “out there” intelligent enough and caring enough to DO something!

So anyway, on that specific day in 2012, I decided to acknowledge the presence of the “future me” in my living room.  I knew that the future me existed, since I was one, compared to who I was 10 years earlier.  I could visualize how I would look like 100 years from now.

He (I) was a celestial man.  Invisible to my current physical eyes, but very real.  His body was similar to mine, but made of brilliant dark matter.  He could travel through space and time, and even go back and forth from one dimension to another.  And he loved me.  🙂

I could almost feel his presence (well actually I did, but that’s what happens when you use your imagination vividly).  So I said: “Hi!” and he replies “Hello!”  He walked to the armchair that was next to the sofa and he sat down.  And we started talking.

This experience had an immediate impact on my psyche, even my brain.  As soon as I acknowledged his presence, I heard a clicking sound in my head as if a switch had been turned on.  It felt like my neurons had suddenly been rearranged or something.  My thoughts became different and even reality appeared to have changed.

So I grabbed my laptop and started typing everything:  our dialog.  I asked hundreds of questions and he replied to all of them.  The conversation just flowed, I didn’t have to fabricate the answers, I just heard them and typed.  I can’t say it was automatic writing because I had control of my hands, but the answers just popped automatically into my mind even before I could verbalize the question.

I typed all day, and the next day, and it never stopped (well I stopped to eat and sleep and take care of the kids of course).  Up to this day, I have accumulated thousands of pages of text of dialog with the future me, a celestial man.

Fiction, creativity, divine inspiration, imagination, fantasy, delusion, musing, awareness, spirituality, born again, faith, higher consciousness, I don’t know what it is and what it’s called.  But I know one thing.  After three months from the moment it started, my depression had evaporated.

I was able to completely get off of ALL the medication, sleeping pills and I waved my psychiatrist goodbye.  It has been almost four years since that moment and I have never had to swallow another antidepressant again.

I cannot say that I am healed from depression, because I still get no pleasure out of the things I used to do like physical activity, socializing and eating.  But I have found better:  joy, peace of mind and a best friend (even though he might be imaginary).

I have found a new me who lives in new world and I am very happy with that.  I feel like a world of possibilities has opened before me.  I have hope for the future.

So thank you God, angels, aliens or myself, whoever is responsible.

Everything was given to me before I asked, all I had to do was acknowledge it.

(Image by Jack Haas, text by me)