I did something unusual two months ago. I went ahead and rented myself an apartment.
My wife thought I was planning a divorce but no, this was not my plan. I don’t want a divorce, I don’t even want to separate, I just want my own place.
It turns out that my wife doesn’t want a divorce either, and now she is happy that I got my own place. At first she was shaken a bit and didn’t know what to think, but as the weeks went by she got used to the idea, and today she is glad and says that we should have done this a long time ago.
So why stay married?
There are many reasons why we both want to remain married:
– the children (we have two aged 13 and 11)
– no interest in getting romantically involved with anyone else
– material and financial benefits
– our friendship
I took the risk. I knew it would shake things up but wasn’t sure how she would react. I expected the worst but hoped for the best.
The logic I used was quite simple, really. I thought: “She spends so much money buying useless things for herself, why should I not spend the same amount for something useful that might actually make us happier?”
I wanted my own apartment more than anything, plain and simple. Some people have a main residence as well as a lakeside cottage. Why could we not have a main residence plus an apartment within the same city?
“Happily married couples don’t do this,” some say.
“Well I honestly think that they should,” I reply.
Maybe long-term marriages would be happier if couples would stop forcing themselves to live under the same roof 24/7.
We are, first and foremost, individuals. I think that the phrase “and the two shall become one” is bullshit. Two people never become one except in fairy tales.
This move, along with some other minor financial adjustments, has solved all of our marital problems. Now our marriage rocks.