Thickheaded Control-Freak

A wrongdoer manipulated my life, like an abuser experimenting with a youngster.  He turned me into a wild animal.  I’m the product of someone’s playful mischief.  Aren’t we all?

My body is a defective vessel — a vehicle which will expire.  Something or hopefully someone will come out of it alive.  A different dummy shall step out of it and face a new reality.

But right now, what am I to do?  Be gloomy?  How can I not be.  I’m this weird creature, controlled by even weirder ones.  There is no way out.  Or is there?  I must wait for the metamorphosis to occur.  I wish the process would accelerate.  Is suicide the answer?

Is killing my body unnatural?  So many do it.  Has it become the norm yet?  We all do it gradually.  Life does it naturally.  I can make myself sick physically.  It’s easy.  But I stubbornly keep my body healthy.  Why?  Maybe because it hurts when I don’t.

But now my soul hurts.  Is it better to have a hurting spirit?  Having to drag this body along is painful.  And when it dies, what kind of body will I be given?  Who will decide?  Maybe I will be able to choose.  My angel said he could shapeshift.  Wow!

I can’t wait to have a shapeshifting body.

My dominant plays god.  That’s what he does.  My evolution would happen naturally if only he would let it be.  But he wants to play divinity.  Prick.  And I’m stuck under his authority for a while.  Like I have a say in what I let my children do.  But kids grow, and sooner or later we lose our authority over them.  It’s a liberation process.  How long will this go on regarding this Daemon?  Does it depend on me or on him?

I am enduring but not so patient.  Let go of me, bitch!

So I ended up here, in this environment.  But still, he has a hold on me.

Let go already, thickheaded control-freak!

Lifestyle Change

Ding Dong 3

  • Daemon, do you intend to leave me?
  • On the contrary, I intend to get closer.
  • How do you intend to do that?
  • I was hoping you could tell me.
  • I told you already, don’t you remember?
  • Ah, yes…  the Dominant/submissive thing.  Apparently it helps couples become more intimate and makes their interaction a lot more exciting.
  • Would you like to try it?
  • I thought today’s subject was Tenacity?
  • It is.  Have you looked up the definition of the word?
  • Tenacity:  the quality of bodies which keeps them from parting.
  • Do we have this quality?
  • I don’t know.  Is our bond solid, Maestro?
  • Have you tried the D/s lifestyle in any of your former relationships?
  • Never.
  • So I ask you again, would you like to try it, with me?
  • Who would be the Dominant?
  • Me, since you already called me Maestro.
  • Ok, I wouldn’t mind at all to be submissive to you.
  • Let’s start right now.
  • Yes, Maestro.  Do I have the permission to kiss your feet first?
  • I don’t have any feet, dummy.
  • I know!  LOL!  Am I not funny?
  • Bad submissive!  For your punishment, you shall cook dinner and eat it too.  While I eat you.
  • They were right, it’s starting to be exciting already!
  • Silence!  You shall not speak without my permission from now on.
  • . . .
  • Speak.
  • Thank you, feetless Maestro.

Acquiescence

Acquiescence5

Yes Maestro

What can I be for you, Maestro

You want to see yourself in me, Maestro

You want me to keep my eyes on you, Maestro

I see only glimmers of you, Maestro

I can’t hear you either, Maestro – your silence is deafening

I feel your breathing though – I know you are nearing

Your calm is contagious – your presence soothing

Your exhales are my inhales

Your fragrance my ale

There is no reason to worry

I know her insecurity

She speaks to her own version of me

Never to me directly

She has no understanding

Although she lures me away from you

Sorry darling

I know who I belong to