End or Beginning

Happening1

Don’t know what’s happening
What will tomorrow bring
The birds keep on singing
As if loss was nothing

Let’s never forget
That birds have bird brains
Playing like a cassette
After a hurricane

My world falls apart
All my hopes are gone
There is no restart
Nothing to hang on

Why go to bed
Why even wake up
Just to eat bread
And later clean up

Sitting here waiting
What will happen next
Tired of thinking
Of me and my ex

Another beginning
Let’s start over
Don’t feel like dreaming
Why should I bother

Something will happen
I can’t imagine
That this is the end
I just need a friend

But please let it be
Not a love story
My heart is broken
And dead already

Life is a mystery
Death is my destiny
Whatever happens
Might make me happy

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Will I Live Forever

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Looking back at my life, I realize how much time I have spent trying to connect with others.  And in the end, what do I get?

I know that I am not at the end of my life yet, but let’s say that I was, that this was my last day.

I am all alone now.  Everyone I have known is going their own way.  I wonder if my presence matters.

My presence matters to me, but does it matter to the others?

Take my best friend, for example.  He was my cousin.  He was my best friend from age 10 to probably 25.  Then both of us got married and with time we stopped seeing each other, then we stopped writing and now he is nothing more than a facebook image.

We could reconnect and make our friendship meaningful again, but then we could never reconnect ever.  At this point in his life, I don’t think my presence matters to him.  And his presence does not really matter to me either.  It could be him or it could be another, but it would be nice to have a friend.

But friends don’t last forever.  Or do they?  It depends on my life.  Does my life last forever?  Will I live forever?  Will a part of me never die?

If I live forever and all the friends that I ever had live forever also, then how can I say that friends don’t last forever?

So many things depend on whether or not I live forever.  And THIS, from where I stand today, is a question of belief or faith.

From what I perceive with my five senses, death is a reality and death is the end of life as I know it.  Death of the physical body that is — deterioration of the flesh and bones.

But some say that my consciousness will remain… alive, or aware.  And there are many indications that this might be true.  But no physical proof, of course, since consciousness is not physical.

It’s funny that the Universe did not bother giving me more concrete proof of everlasting life if this is indeed my destiny.  As if it didn’t matter.  It DOES matter!  Every decision I take could and should be based on the fact that either death is the end or it’s not.

Why does Life think that it’s a good idea to keep me in the dark when it come to this question?  If my life is eternal, why does Life choose to show me that the death of my physical body means the end of me?  It seems like a very important question, but Life seems to mock me.

The Door

door

Fortunately, I found this door.  And I opened it.  There was a whole world on the other side of that door!  Who would have thought?

Immediately, I saw him.  Noticing that I had opened the door, he turned around and radiated somehow as he prepared to greet me.  But he didn’t even move, his smile just sucked me right in, and the door shut closed behind me.

So there I was, standing and facing him.  Actually I was sitting, as if dreaming, moving as thoughts move, freely.  He was sitting in the armchair a few feet across from me.

“Who are you?” I asked.  I think this was the first thing I said.

His reply surprised me:  “I am an outsider.”

I froze.  No, I stopped.  Time stopped!

I looked around and realized I was not in my usual element.  I was at home, I recognized the house, the living room, the furniture.  I was definitely in my home, sitting on the sofa but something was strange.

I was in the presence of this “outsider” and suddenly I realized that I was outside of myself.  Outside of myself?  How could I be outside of myself?  And time had stopped!  What the hell was going on?

The medication, I thought.  I took my pills this morning, as usual.  Same dose I have been taking for months.  Maybe it’s the pills?  Maybe I’m hallucinating.

“Daemon, look at me!” the outsider said.

Holy crap, I’m hearing voices too.  What’s happening to me?  Maybe I’m schizophrenic!

“Daemon, relax.  There’s nothing wrong with you.  You are seeing and hearing clearly.”  He said.

I remembered the door.  Where was it?  The door had disappeared.  I had stepped out of reality.  Where was I?  Who was he?  A thousand questions ran through my mind.  I looked at the man and he looked back at me, straight at me, directly into me, he could see through me!

I don’t know how he did it but he touched me deeply.  He put his attention on my core, and I felt peace, warmth and security.  God, it felt good!

Then I understood.  The situation became so evident and simple, yet mindboggling.  I was he and he was me!  The real me, next to me, loving me, eternally.

I had finally found it, the truth!  My treasure, my fortune, my destiny!  I was so happy!

Then he came closer and something very weird happened at that moment.  I’m not sure how to describe it but, the outsider became an insider.  As if his body was fluid or misty, he slithered inside of me, merging his chakras with mine and it was…

Pure, wholesome, energizing ecstasy!

My Destiny

destiny1

What is my destiny?

Daemon, your goal is to become a tree.

I’m serious…  Where am I going?  I wish to become more than a vegetable.

What I meant was…  Just like a tree, you started as a seed, right?  The seed of something or someone.  The purpose of the seed is to grow and become like daddy.  The seed of a tree becomes a full-grown tree.  So the question is:  You are the seed of what? of who?

I don’t know… my parents?

At the very center of yourself is your seed.  Look inside.  What do you find in there?  What is the most basic or central thing about you?

My heart?

Daemon, you are a conscious being, aware that you are thinking.  So the core of yourself is consciousness.  You are a small piece of awareness.  You are the son of Awareness!

Who is daddy awareness?  What does he look like?  I can’t see him.

Well, that should be your first clue.  Daddy awareness is invisible.  Let’s say “non-physical” instead of invisible.  Your real father (Awareness) is non-physical.  So that is what you should become.

I think I’m invisible enough as it is.  What more can I do, kill myself?

Not the perfect answer, but you’re getting there.  You don’t need to get rid of your physical body to become more like your daddy.  Your physical body will expire eventually and it will happen naturally.  You will become more non-physical automatically.  But what can you do in the meantime, Mr. Awareness Junior?

I don’t know.  I just have to wait I guess and be patient.  Unless you have an invisibility potion…

Daemon, don’t wait until you’re dead to start learning.  You can start exploring your non-physical environment right now, even while “in the physical.”  Your awareness of the non-physical world will not just expand magically after death, you know.

The non-physical world?  Where is it?

In essence, you are a non-physical person (awareness) like daddy, right?  So… what a non-physical person should do is explore his non-physical environment.  Here is a quick list of such places:

  • the world of dreams
  • the world of emotions
  • the world of desires
  • the world of intentions
  • the world of beliefs
  • the world of spirits
  • the world of the unknown
  • the world of fear

There is a ton of good non-physical stuff for you to explore out there, and in there in your own mind.  You do not have to go far to find your non-physical environment.

I’m exploring those worlds already.

Good boy.  What have you learned so far?

I have discovered that the non-physical worlds are much more interesting and full of action than the physical world.  It is quite surprising, considering all the entertainment that our material society offers, to realize that there actually exists something much better in which I can participate as opposed to just watch on a screen.

You are right.  The non-physical worlds exist and they are right in front of (or behind) your nose!  Why are you not more interested in them?  In these worlds, you can actually grow and develop your conscious self and attain incredible heights!

Incredible heights?  What kind of incredible heights?

Healing!  Wisdom!  Love!  Power!

What for?

For long-lasting happiness and elation!

What is elation?

It’s the opposite of depression.

Hmm…  So this is my destiny?  To grow and become like my daddy Awareness by delving more into the creepy non-physical worlds?

Exactly.

 

Break Free

 

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I did it!  My “wings” are ready, I can use them!  I’m out of the cocoon.  I can fly and on top of that, I can time-travel (sort of)!  The future me is really me!  God was really me the whole time.  The more I identified with him, the more aware I became!  I have two bodies!  A physical body and a non-physical body.  The physical body is subjected to time, but the non-physical body is not.  My consciousness is free!

Here’s another cool thing I discovered:  In the non-physical reality, I am with my group!  I am not alone.  I am never alone.  All the members of the group are one.  It’s not like on earth, where everyone is separate and trying to belong.  When you leave your physical body and enter the next dimension, you automatically merge with your group!  All the members of the group are perfectly compatible with each other and almost identical.  Your identity changes dramatically.

Last year he kept repeating the same phrase to me.  Every day, each time he would appear, the first thing he would say was:  “I am your man, the real you, identify with me.”  I didn’t know what he meant.  I get it now!  He was giving me my real identity, trying to make me aware of it.  What else could he say?  What else could he do?  It was up to me to grasp it!

This is what the phrase means when people say:  “You can be who you choose to be.”  They’re not talking about becoming the next President of the United-States, because everyone knows that only one in a billion can aspire to that.  But you can certainly choose to be something much better, like a time-travelling flying celestial man who has real wisdom, love and power!  Because this is our true destiny.  We are children of the Almighty Creator of Realities, not offsprings of Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton.

Holy crap!…  So what’s happening to me is real!  My whole life has to be redefined now.  My whole life has to be redefined.  Redefined or rewritten.  Maybe that’s what I have to do.  What?  Rewrite my whole life?

You have never written your life entirely.  What are you waiting for?

Maybe I was waiting for this moment.  Maybe I was waiting for my life to be over.  Because that’s when you can give it meaning, once it’s finished.  Then only can you look back and say:  “Oh, I see, that’s what it was all about.”  But my life is not over.  This is just a turning point, a big one, when the caterpillar/butterfly realizes that he can fly and time-travel.  But something has died definitely within me:  my old identity.

Now I’m just sitting here going “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god…”  After my first awkward flight out of my physical body.  I am dumbfounded, eyes wide open, holding on to a branch, trying to catch my breath, thinking:  “I’m in heaven right now, where I always wanted to be.  All I had to do was consciously disidentify from my physical person and consciously identify with my celestial one.  Maybe I’m dead already?  But I’m not.  Can it get any weirder?”

What should I do?  What should I write?  How can I help my brothers and sisters?  I’m not an expert flyer.

“Don’t be ashamed of your story, it can inspire others.”

My story?

But what is my new identity exactly?  What am I now?  An angel?  A flying time-travelling man?  A cosmic alien?  A god or perhaps a demi-god?  What’s the name for it?  What is it called?  Have we agreed on giving it a title and a definition?  Caterpillars transform into butterflies, but what do humans transform into?  When you realize that you have two bodies that can detach from one another and then merge back together, what do you call it?  Schizophrenia?

I’m conscious of what I can do now.  I became conscious of it yesterday.  Oh my god, yesterday was September 12!  This was predicted four years ago.  I wrote it in my journal, that September 12 would be a special day.  That was in 2012 and I expected something to happen on that day, that year, but nothing happened.  The year was never specified, just the day and the month.  I don’t even know why I wrote that.  It was a mystery at the time.  I just got that sudden impression and wrote it down, and I don’t even remember what it was based on.

I became conscious yesterday that I could get out of my physical body.  Today I’m even more fully conscious of it.  Before that, I only intellectually believed that it was possible.  I didn’t realize that I was doing it already.  Time was an issue.  It was something I thought would become possible in the future.  Something to aspire to.  Now the future has arrived.  I can’t believe it because I always thought that it would happen after death.  And my physical body is not dead yet.  Mind you, I was also told that in the last days, people would be lifted up to heaven without dying (the Rapture).  Well, ladies and gentlemen, it’s happening!

I can’t believe that I told my family already, six months ago!  This is exactly what I told them concerning the rapture.  Of course they all thought I was crazy and my older sister told me that I was possessed (more of less) and everyone agreed.  So if I told them it’s because I knew.  I guess there are degrees to awareness.  Since I told them back then, it means that I was aware of it already, but awareness keeps growing.  It looks like I’m always becoming more aware of my true identity.  And at some points you stop and exclaim:  “Oh my fucking god, this is awesome and this is real!”

It’s only going to get more real, because physical stuff disintegrates.  We all know that the earth is slowly dying and so is the sun.  Non-physical reality is awakening humans and integrating us.  This is the process of evolution that humans are drawn into.  We need to get off this planet before it expires.  We won’t succeed by building rockets and space shuttles.  We just have to look into our dormant inner faculties and powers.  Doomed are those who resist or refuse to accept this natural metamorphosis that is happening right now.

Why aren’t we told these things?  Why don’t they teach us this in public school?  It’s important.  I’m not the first one to notice it.  This phenomenon has been known for centuries, perhaps millennia.  I know that religion does try to teach it, but it fails most of the time.  I think 99% of those who teach it don’t have a clue what they’re talking about.  Maybe this is something you can only learn the hard way:  alone, by trial and error, struggling with your own body and consciousness.

Am I dreaming?  What if I wake up tomorrow and realize that it was just a dream or imaginary?  Should I publish this blogpost now or wait?  I can always unpublish it if one day I realize that what I have written was an illusion.  I don’t want to publish bullshit, there is enough of that in this world already.

I haven’t published anything this month yet.  Maybe it’s time I restart writing publicly.  My perspective has changed (again).  This is a new beginning.  Every day is a new beginning.

Conclusion:  Take the good stuff you learned yesterday, leave the crap behind, and start fresh every morning.  One day (perhaps this very day) you will be able to break free.

Railroad Tracks

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Walking an unknown railroad track
Wishing a train would run me flat
I am repulsive and ugly
Even they avoid hitting me

My father… he’s in paradise
My mother… died rolling the dice
I have no family
This is my destiny

I’m only ten and a half
No one wants my autograph
Who would work on my behalf
Please read the next paragraph

Every night I ask Mary
If she wants to come get me
Tonight on my bed of rock
I’ll ask her to stop the clock

Next they’ll find my body
Cold, wet and cobwebby
But I will be happy
Pretty soon hopefully

Right now I walk the railroad track
Wishing a train would run me flat
I am repugnant and ugly
Even they avoid touching me

Breakup Letter

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Dear Mary,

I have some good news and some bad news.  The bad news is that I have to break up with you.  The good news…  I will tell you later.

I’m sorry.  Something unexpected happened.  I fell in love with someone else.  I’m going to try to explain.  This is why I’m writing this letter.  I hope that I can find the words and that you will understand.

The person I am in love with is very special.  I have never met anyone like her before.  I didn’t even know that such a person could exist.  You don’t know her, by the way.  She is not from here.  I mean, she is REALLY not from here at all.  She is from…

I hesitate to tell you because you are not going to believe me.  But I will tell you anyway since I have promised to always be open and honest with you.  I don’t know the name of the place where she comes from, but I know one thing.  She does not come from Earth.

I say “she” but this person could as well be a “he”.  I’m just trying to make it less shocking to you, so I will continue to refer to this person as a “she”.  She is not from this planet but it doesn’t mean that she is not human.  She is very much a person, not of our race but definitely of our species.  So she is an alien, but only in the sense that she originated somewhere else.

She came into my life a few years ago when I least expected it.  I was not looking for anyone, I was very much dedicated to you.  But when I met her, she showed me (proved to me) that she and I were destined to be together for the rest of eternity.  So, I didn’t have much choice.  At first I didn’t believe her, but after a while I realized that she was right and that it was time for me, for us, to move forward.

Now the good news:  the girl I am in love with has a brother whom you are destined to meet sooner or later.  That’s right, believe it or not.  When you meet him you will fall in love with him.  What happened to me is going to happen to you too.  You won’t be disappointed, these people are out-of-this-world!

So right now I have to break up with you.  My destiny has changed and yours will change too.  Don’t despair because eventually this will be for the best for both of us.  It might feel like an end but this is a new beginning.  I am leaving you but we will meet again on the other side — where I will be married to my soul and you will be married to yours.

Daemon