I Feel Like Bacon


Tic tic tic
He sees a lunatic
Probably a prick
Pulls out his stick

Right off the rack
Not with the pack
Born off the track
Surely a maniac

If you want to live
I’m with the police
And I don’t forgive

Sign up your name
You little ass
This is my game
You’ll never pass

You are my bacon
Nice piece of pork
I wear the apron
Holding a fork

I watch you burn
Tongue on my lip
No need to turn
Drip drip drip

Please just give up
I always win
I’ll eat you up
Better give in

Yum yum yum
Isn’t it fun
I swallow my bacon
You’ll never awaken


Family Won’t Budge


same old way

How does family react to personal transformation?  Not very well, I’m afraid.  Seems like the role of the family is to make sure nothing ever changes.

I’ve been very isolated with my thoughts lately.  I don’t socialize very much.  When you are depressed, you don’t want to see anyone.  I use my depression to transform my inner self.

I’ve been getting messages from my family members.  “We miss you!” they say.

How sweet.

This was my response to them.  I don’t know if it was rude or what, but it was the truth:
“You miss the old me.  Well let me tell you, the old me is dead.  The brother you once knew no longer exists.  I buried him.  You won’t ever see him again.”

Their reply was like…  WTF?

Next, they tried to offer help.

So I told them about metamorphosis (personal transformation).

How does family react to depression and to personal transformation?  They are scared shit!  They don’t want to lose me.  They are doing everything they can to keep me from changing.  They want me to be the same guy I was before.  How do you deal with that?

At the moment I am avoiding them.  More introspection.  Asking myself what is happening.  If the change is positive, then why are they reacting like this?  Of course, all they see is a guy locked up inside his cocoon.  They can’t see what is happening inside.  Even though I tried to explain to them, the more I try to explain, the worse it gets.  Now a couple of them seem to think that I am possessed.  That’s right, possessed by an evil spirit!

I am possessed, by the spirit of transformation and I decided to let it happen.  Sorry, dear family, but if you can’t accept it, that’s not my problem.  I just wish you could understand, and perhaps strive to transform yourselves too.

Maybe one day I will give them access to my blog, a few minutes before I die.

What If

What if I am not mentally sick after all?
What if it’s my environment that is crazy?

From the moment I was born, I was forced to:

drink this drink
eat this food
dress like this
shit like that
sleep at this time
get up now
listen to this parent
kiss this grandparent
learn this language
walk in a straight line
go to school
read this book
conform to this
abide to that
believe this bullshit
respect the authorities
obey the laws
suck this
lick that
play here
work there
buy this
sell that
vote for this
reject that
live here
die there

The recipe for happiness
Had been set up for me
Years before I was even born
Decades before my parents were born

And now they tell me
That if I’m not happy
It’s because I’m sick
And all I have to do
Is swallow these meds

This world is perfect
Do not question it
Everything was GIVEN to you
You should be thankful

Mankind has evolved
We used to be dumb animals
Now we are intelligent and civilized
The greatest species on the planet

You are FREE
You live in a free country
You are lucky
You are blessed

Thank your God
Thank your government
Thank the experts
Thank your obedient parents

You are free to choose
What kind of slave you want to be
Get a job or better yet a career
Serve this society
Give your energy
Give your life
Give your money

Everything you need can be found at Walmart
Everything you need to know is on your TV
With the Internet you can find friends
With this subscription you can find your soulmate

If you marry you will be loved
If you have children you will feel complete
If you buy a house you will be warm
If you buy insurance you will be protected

You have no reason to be sad
No reason to be anxious
No reason to be confused
No reason to ask questions

Everything has been set up for you
For your own good
Set up for you
Set up

I was set up

What if I am not mentally sick after all?
What if I have been forced to adapt to a crazy environment?
And I can’t, I just can’t, because
I was never meant to live like this

I want to leave
Where’s the exit
This planet sucks
I want to get off
I never signed up for this
I trusted you and you deceived me
I asked for truth and you gave me lies
I expected freedom and you enslaved me

If I resist you will kick me
If I say no you will throw me in jail
If I refuse you will take all I have
If I retaliate you will kill me

Stupid society
I hate you
Because you hated me first
None of this is my fault

I could go on forever
This poem has no end
Every day the same thing
Every week the same routine

I’m so fed up
I had enough
I’m going to find a tree
A nice solid branch
A spot to hang myself
I’ll wrap myself up
Inside a protective shell
A sort of cocoon
Where no one can touch me
And I’m going to wait
I’m not going to move
I’m never coming out
Not until you change
And if you can’t
Then I will
And when I come out
I will be unrecognizable
I will be beautiful
I will be free
I will be happy
Because I will leave you
Stupid society
Cruel world
I know my destiny

The End