Born to Be Alive

Gud08

Alive?

What does it mean to be alive?

Let’s look it up in the dictionary:

– – – – – – – – – –
Alive

1.  Having life; living; not dead.

2.  In a state of action; in force or in operation

3.  Unextinguished; unexpired; existent

4.  Animated; lively; brisk

5.  Having susceptibility or vulnerability

6.  Easily impressed; sensitive

7.  Having feelings, as opposed to apathy
– – – – – – – – – –

So I was born to be all these things?
How am I doing so far?

It’s important to consider because I know I was born.
I also know that I was born on this day.
Today’s my birthday.

The Birth of a Star

Star

Maybe if I would shine so bright, it would blind everyone around me.  They would not be able to come close.  They would not be able to tempt me and rape me.

I should shine so bright and so hot that no one would be able to come near.  They would refrain from approaching and admire me from afar.  Bask in my light from a distance.

Maybe this is what I was meant to be.  A star, not a black hole.  A black hole is dark and it absorbs everything that ventures near it.  It steals everything, becoming denser and denser, heavier and heavier.  It sucks its victims, like a vampire.

My Creation Myth

Book1

In the beginning
there was me
and I was in a library.

The Vision:

I am young.
I want to know where I came from.
So I walk up to the front desk and ask the librarian to give me a book.  She gives me a large, old, dusty book.  I take it, turn around and look for a place to sit.  I see a burgundy armchair not too far.  I go and sit in it.

I take a deep breath and open the book.  I can’t see the title, my vision is blurry.  I think maybe I need glasses.  I look up, wink a few times to clear my eyes, and then look down at the title again.  I can distinguish three words:  “The Orphic Immersion“.

I turn the page.  It’s a Table of Contents.

I turn the next page.  It’s an Introduction.

I read the first sentence:  “Those who wish to join the coalition are warned.  The task will not be easy, but the rewards will be great.

I turn the page.  Chapter One.

I read the first sentence:  “Are you an adventurer?

I flip through the pages.

The author writes about going to the underworld and being allowed to bring only one light.  “All you will need to do is keep your light on,” he says.  The rest of the book is very enigmatic, I’m not sure what he’s talking about.

I close the book.  I’m very curious.  I want to know more.

I stand up and walk to the front desk.  I hand the book back to the librarian.  She says thank you.

I turn around.  I see a huge exit door across the room.  It’s a bright day.  The sun shines through the tainted glass around the door.  Birds are singing.

These two phrases echo inside my head:

“Those who wish to join the coalition are warned.
The task will not be easy, but the rewards will be great.”

I decide to join the coalition.  I head towards the exit, push the door and walk out.

The next thing I know, I’m in a hospital.  Close to the ceiling looking down.  A woman is lying on a very narrow table.  I think it’s an operating table.  She’s holding on to it tight.  There are blinding lights above her.  She’s wearing a thin robe and no underpants.  Two doctors walk into the room and stand on each side of her.  They smile and one of them says:  “Don’t worry, everything’s going to be alright.”  Then the other one gently lifts her robe and I can’t see what he’s doing.  I don’t like the thought of it.  The woman starts screaming.  I see blood and I feel like the life is being sucked out of ME!  What’s happening?  I feel extremely nauseous.  Then I pass out.

I snap out of the vision.