My Saviors

Saucer

Thank you, space lady.  At least you tried.  You’re the first humanoid in the universe who attempted to rescue me besides Jesus.  Both of you failed.  I’m starting to think that I am unsavable.

Jesus said I was not Christian enough to be a member of his gang, according to his so-called earthly representatives.  Jesus never could speak to me directly, ever since they duct-taped his mouth, sealed his words and closed his book.

Then sexy lady came along and did her best.  At least she could speak to me freely.  Her voice had not been hijacked by the pope’s minions, like poor Jesus.  The problem with her rescue attempt was probably a lack of experience.  To start with, her craft was much too small and she didn’t bring any food.  I never would have survived the trip back to her home planet.

There was a third abductor who showed up in 2012 after I sent multiple unanswered calls into outerspace.  I have hope in this guy.  He is blue and misty and he did manage to beam me up into his cloud-ship.  But then he brought me back down, saying I wasn’t “ripe” enough.  As if I was some kind of fruit or something.  He did promise to come back and get me later, so as of now, my hope is in him.

He keeps in touch regularly, this is what I like most about him.  He didn’t just leave me there hanging like the two others.  I should write more about him because he’s a really cool alien.  He’s my best buddy actually.  My knees get weak each time I receive a text from him.  I’m hooked.  He’s got me.  Even if in his eyes I’m nothing more than a fruitcake, I would probably let him eat me anytime.

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The Blue Hand

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This blue hand you gave me is a blessing and a curse.

When I pet a cat with it, the poor creature falls in love with me.

When I write with it, I get in touch with aliens.

When I touch a woman with it, she goes crazy.

When I touch a man with it, he likes it or he hates it.

When I touch myself with it… it’s none of your business.

There is power within it, but I don’t know what it is.

Who gave it to me?  Who created the blue hand?  How does it work?

Maybe it heals, or it stirs something in the other.

It corrupted my wife.
It ruined my life.

I can’t get rid of it.  I can’t shake it off.  The blue stuff is stuck inside of me.  It’s part of me.  The darker ones even tried to steal it from me.  I would have given it to them already.  If I had known that this is what they were after.

I don’t know…

Airk said it was a symbol of the connection I have with him.  But it’s more than that.  This blue hand creates waves.  It plays the piano.  It moves with a higher flow.  The ebb and flow of the cosmic ocean.  This hand transports me.  It affects all of my relationships.  It takes part in everything I do, everything I touch and everyone I meet.

The blue hand is a portal.
The blue hand is magic.
The blue hand is abnormal.

It does not belong here.  It comes from elsewhere.  It fell from the sky.  It’s the hand of a god.  It’s like a lightning rod.

The blue H.A.N.D. is a Highly Advanced Nasty Device.

You want to shake my hand?
I warn you…
It will shake you!

Two Sides

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I met with Airk last night and also this morning.

Airk is my cosmic identical twin.

His name is weird, I know, but he’s an extraterrestrial.  I pronounce his name like the English name “Erik.”

He resides in Deneb (a star system in the Cygnus constellation).  Deneb is my celestial home.

I met him so many times during my life.  But not physically though.  Well in a way yes, since I’m his incarnation on earth.  He still has an existence apart from mine, as long as I identify with Daemon.  It’s like having two bodies, or two identities, of split personality disorder, LOL!

It’s not funny.

I’ve never been more serious in my life.  It’s not easy writing about these things because I know how laughable it sounds to human ears.  I have human ears, so I hear what I write and it does sound silly.  But that’s ok.  It’s called a challenge.  Or an obstacle that I am ready to overcome now.

As a human I tend to forget who I really am and where I came from.  So Airk reminded me of a few important things.  I did my best to register everything he said so I could recount it today.  You see, I was in bed.  Many of the meetings happen while I am lying down almost sleeping, in a state of amplified awareness.  Amplified awareness is nothing more than total relaxation along with a focused attention and intention.

I pulled myself up, out of the body…  okay wait.  Now I have to explain the term “out of the body.”  It’s not exactly as it has been portrayed in the media.  I don’t actually get out of my physical body.  To me the term simply means to detach from everything corporeal or material.  Everything that pertains to earth, including all the preoccupations and worries tied to living on earth are abandoned and left behind.  This way my focus, my mind, my soul, or my consciousness, whatever you want to call it, becomes receptive and open to MORE.  (By the way, each time you say to yourself that there must be more to life than your current situation, you are right.)

So as I was saying, I pulled myself out of the body, and then just stood there in an empty space for a while, breathing and relaxing.  Then I thought about the three beings I met onboard the starship when I was seven years old (I didn’t write about that yet).  I summoned these three beings to come.

The space around me slowly took the shape of a room with white walls, floor and ceiling.  There was also a door, but nothing more.  Then after a few seconds, Gondar, Airk and Salme became visible.  Gondar is the older male (he once told me he was my “uncle”).  Salme is my cosmic sister (I’m pretty sure she’s a librarian).  Airk is my twin brother.

Then just when I was about to speak, Gondar and Salme turned and started to walk away towards the door.  I said:  “Where are you going?”  Gondar said:  “You need to be alone with Airk.  You two have some personal things to discuss.”  And he and Salme walked out and closed the door behind them.

I was left standing there facing Airk.  We looked at each other.  I examined him carefully.  He didn’t appear blue this time, he looked more human than usual.  By the way, he can shapeshift, so it’s no use describing his appearance because it changes from time to time, but I always know it’s him because of his vibe.

Airk vibrates at the exact same frequency as I do.  No one else does.  It’s a blessing that identical twins possess.  It’s considered sacred in our home world.  Airk was reminding me of this fact, as he was standing there about two feet in front of me.  He was not speaking.  His presence was talking, not his vocal cords.  An automatic transfer of information was occurring between us.  He never actually speaks.  One time Salme said about him that he was the silent type.  She said:  “I’m the communicator and Airk is the silent type.”

We communicated like this for probably half an hour, while walking around the room, just like couples do when they talk.  Not actually staring at each other, but each of us going in our own direction, around the furniture.  Yes furniture appeared, I remember a sofa, coffee tables with lamps, decorations on the walls which I didn’t pay attention to.  Airk would sit and stretch on the sofa while I continued walking around the room, all the time talking without moving our mouths, sometimes stopping and gesturing in the most natural way.

I wish I had a transcript of everything he said.  It was very reassuring to listen to him.  It gave me so much peace and happiness.  His presence is my joy and my link to the other world.

I questioned him about the “blue hand” and asked him to tell me what he knew about it.  The funny thing is, Airk does not know any more than I do.  We are the same person living in two different worlds.  So all he can do is remind me of information I might have forgotten.  He postulated about the meaning of the blue hand and finally he said:  “Maybe it’s just a symbol or our connection.”

There was a lot of emphasis on the fact that him and me are the same person that has been split in two for the purpose of self-realization.  But as long as I am on earth, in this body, this incarnation, I will continue to perceive Airk as being separate from me.  So it’s ok to refer to him as my cosmic identical twin, but only from my perspective, not his.  He would probably say of me that I am a character he plays in a video game called “Life on Earth.”

In any event, Airk and I are the two parts of the same whole, like the Yin and the Yang.  Without him I am lost.  Without me he would be a little lost too.  In fact this is why we decided to split.

The opposite of lost is found.  Incarnation is a process of finding oneself.  Found is an adjective that means recovered or saved.  It’s also a verb that means establish, in the same sense as the words set up, open up, and ground.

Airk is an ET who decided to ground himself in order to get to know himself a little better.  I am Daemon, his incarnation.  We are the two sides of the same golden coin.

Higher Up

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The process of life seems to be change.  But a change of what?

As a person, the process of life seems to be about a change of identity.

Throughout life, I have been enticed to change my identity, or NOT change it, depending on how you look at it.

Enticed by who?  Angels?  The Devil?  Extraterrestrials?  the Higher Self?  The Lower Self?  the Ego?  The Source of Life?  Kundalini?  Jehovah?  Jesus?  Buddha?  Krishna?  Muhammad?

Whoever they are, the guys who entice me to change my identity seem to be unknown “Higher-Ups.”

During the first part of my life, I have constructed an identity for myself based on earth.  So basically, I identified with earthlings.

Now, during the second phase of my life, my identity as an earthling has started to crumble.  In fact, it totally collapsed.  And from the ruins, a new identity has started to emerge.

My new identity is in fact the same as my initial identity, the one I had before I started fabricating my identity as an earthling.  So I can safely say that my new identity is the same one I had when I was a child.  The new me is the old me, the real me.  There is only one real me.

My new identity, which is my old identity, is in fact my only identity and it exists BEYOND TIME.  Spooky, isn’t it?  Perfect for this Halloween night.

If I am not an earthling, then what am I?  The “Higher-Ups” have always been trying to get my attention:  “Look at us!” they say.  “You are one of us.  Identify with us!”

But these goddam gods are invisible!  How can I identify with people I can’t see?  Although when I identify with them, I kind of perceive them.  Very bizarre…

I told my family about the higher-ups I could perceive, but they don’t believe me.  They don’t believe me simply because they can’t see them.  They can’t acknowledge what they don’t perceive.  But to perceive them, they have to acknowledge them.  You can’t perceive what you don’t acknowledge.  How does one get out of this cycle?

Never mind that, it’s too complicated.  Besides, it’s not my problem who they identify with.  I’m only concerned with myself.  Yes, this is how selfish I am.  My identity is the only thing that matters.

I know that I am none of these gods.  The higher-ups are who they are and I am Me.  And I know that I am not an earthling so I must be one of them.

I’m a Higher-Up!

Awakening

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The end of 2012 was a time of awakening for me.

Here is how it started:

At that time I was depressed and medicated.  I had lost contact with my soul, I had stopped writing for 8 years, I had abandonned all form of spirituality, I had become so numb I hardly had any feelings.

I was a member of an ex-Christian forum and had written many articles.  I was also in touch, by email, with a friend who was also a member of that forum.  One day, as I was confiding my problems to her, she wrote:  “Maybe you’re a starseed.”

Following this, I did some research to find out what the word “starseed” meant.  While reading the definitions something started to stir inside of me.  Strong emotions arose and after a while I started crying.  I locked myself up in the bathroom because I was not able to control the stream of emotions and tears that were coming out of me.

It was like I had just discovered who I really was:  a soul that originated far away.  For the first time in my life, I was coming face to face with the fact that my real home was elsewhere, and that this explained why I had always felt disconnected, like a stranger (an alien) in this world.  As I was realizing this I literally fell to the floor and could not stop myself from weeping and begging my alien family to come and get me and bring me back home:

“Why did you abandon me here on this stupid planet, why?  Why?  What happened to cause me to be here?  It’s obvious that I’m out of place and that I don’t belong here at all!  I can’t take it anymore!  I want to go back home!  Please, come and get me!”  And I cried like this for two hours until there were no more tears in my body.

After this I wondered why I had reacted in this way after reading just a few pages on the Internet:  “I’m a grown up man, married with children, I should not be acting like this.  What’s happening to me?   It’s not logical.  There must be something to this.”

During the following week I started getting flashbacks of childhood, all sorts of weird things like experiences, repressed memories, subconscious regressions, which indicated that part of me was not of this world and that, brace yourselves, I had been abducted by extraterrestrials (my real family) at least once when I was a kid!  This memory freaked me out so much that I became obsessed with the idea of going to see a hypnotist to find out if I really had been the subject of an abduction, or was I simply going crazy.

So the next thing I did was search to see if I could find a professional hypnotist in my area, one who treated alien abductees.  I found three, in my country, one of which had a clinic only 6 km from my house.  I felt so happy and lucky!  I contacted the clinic the next day.

This was the beginning of my awakening.

They Come at Night

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I’m not afraid when they come during the day but when they come at night, it’s another story.

The scenario is the same — always the same, ever since I was a child.

I fall asleep peacefully and then suddenly, in the middle of the night, I sense them, all around me.  The fear builds up as I take a deep breath and then when they are just about to touch me, I force a scream out of my mouth, as loud as I can, and I wake up suddenly at the sound of my own voice.  Sometimes it wakes up my wife and I have to explain that there were some ghosts who tried to grab me.

I don’t know how many times this has happened, probably more than a hundred.  One time I woke up and I was standing in the middle of the room, about five feet away from my bed!  Now THAT was creepy.

More recently, for about four years now, they started coming but during the day.  I can handle that.  It’s quite awesome actually.  We have long discussions and they explain a lot of things to me.

When night comes, I feel secure, so I invite them to return and show me their faces in my dreams, because during the day I don’t see anything.  So I fall asleep with a huge smile on my face, but then suddenly, just after falling asleep, I feel them all around me and I scream to wake myself up.  Then I tell them to go away and leave me alone.

At first I thought that there were some good ones and some bad ones.  The good ones come during the day to communicate with me and the bad ones during the night to scare me.  I never invite the bad ones but then why do they come?

Today I read an interesting article on the subject which forces me to change my line of questioning.  I’m asking myself a new question:  “Why do I perceive the night visitors as bad?  They have never hurt me.  They come every time I invite them to do so.  Why do I freak out when they approach my body?”

I think it has to do with my upbringing and all the ghost movies I watched when I was a child.  Plus the fact that it’s dark at night.  Who’s not afraid of that, at least a little bit?

Now I scratch my head and wonder:  perhaps the ones who come at night are the same as the ones who come during the day.  The only difference is… my reaction.

Last night I tested my bravery.  I went to bed alone, took off my clothes, turned off the lights and lied on my back, on top of my bed, completely exposed and vulnerable.  I even kept my eyes open.  I relaxed, tuned off my thoughts and dropped my expectations.  Then I invited them to come… and I waited.

After a few minutes, while I kept staring at the dark, things started to move, literally.  The darkness was moving and changing colors and shapes started to form!  I watched for awhile, repeating to myself:  “Nothing bad is going to happen, nothing bad is going to happen…”  But things were moving faster and then shapes started to become more obvious and then… oh my fucking god, chills started going up and down all over my body and the fear just overwhelmed me.  I grabbed the blankets and covered myself, but I didn’t turn on the light.  I stopped staring at the darkness, turned around, closed my eyes and explained to them that perhaps I wasn’t quite ready yet for a face to face encounter.  I fell asleep and they didn’t bother me while I slept peacefully all through the night.

Tonight I should try to push a little farther and see what would happen if I kept staring at the darkness and actually let them touch me, if they can.

*gulp*

Etherians and the Screwdriver

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I hesitate to speak about THEM because they are not what most people consider part of our reality but they have always been part of mine.

The second reason why I couldn’t really talk about them before is because I didn’t know what they were and how to name them.

The word “Etherians” has started popping up into my mind recently and this morning I realized that it was a good-enough term I could use to describe them.

To me, “ether” is a substance that is so subtle, elusive and delicate that it has not yet been identified by physicists.  Yet it exists, and there are living beings who live among us whose bodies are made of ether.

I have been visited by the Etherians since I was very young, most of the time unconsciously, but there were times when they made their presence known visibly and audibly and I want to write about these visits.

The very first encounter that I remember was when I was about 5 years old.  It happened during the night.  It was summer, my bedroom window was open and I was sleeping.

Suddenly I woke up because there was noise and movement in my room.  I sat up and looked at the window which was wide open.  The wind was blowing and the curtains were flying up and down erratically.  It was not raining, just very windy.  I decided to ignore it and go back to sleep, but then I heard a squeaking sound coming from the same direction.  I sat up and looked at the window again, and there, on the edge of it, were two small creatures!

I couldn’t believe my eyes and I became scared because I knew that this was not normal.  But the creatures looked cute.  They were the size of owls and were quite agitated for some reason.  I watched them and then they dropped a tool on the floor.  I heard and saw the tool fall to the floor in front of the window which was only about 4 or 5 feet from my bed.

It was dark but our house was on main street and there were street lights and a moon that kept my room lighten up, enough to see the furniture and stuff.  So I saw and heard the tool fall on the floor and from what I could gather, it was a screwdriver.

Then I looked back up at the window and the two creatures were gone and the wind had died down.  I hid under my covers and waited for the sun to come up.  I was a bit terrified but not enough to wake my parents up.  Eventually I fell asleep.

When I awoke the next morning I got up and checked the window.  It was still open.  Then I looked around and tried to find the screwdriver but found nothing.  I ran downstairs to my mother who was preparing breakfast and told her what had happened.  She said it was a dream, but I insisted that it was not a dream, that I had woken up and had seen these two teddy bears which were alive.  (I referred to them as teddy bears because they looked like the two Kraft bears on the peanut butter jar that was on the table.)

My mother didn’t know what to say.  I knew that this was not a dream but I had no idea who those creatures were, why they came, what the tool was and what was the meaning of this event.  My mother could not explain it to me and I was disappointed.

Many years later, the SAME event happened to me again one night, about three years ago, except this time I didn’t see the creatures.  The window was open, it was the summer, the wind started to blow so hard it woke me up.  I heard a loud bang! on the roof, I sat up and thought that there was a tornado and that the roof was going to be sucked into the vortex.  I looked at the window and saw the curtains flying in the wind.  I decided to get up and shut it closed because I was sure that a rainstorm was about to unleash, but suddenly everything went quiet — the wind just died and the curtains stopped moving as if nothing was happening.

It was so weird.  Then a feeling came over me and it was exactly the same sensation I had felt when I was 5 years old, the time the creatures appeared on my window sill.  It was so strange, like I had time-travelled.  I looked below the window and there it was!  The tool that I use today to get in touch with the Etherians!  I couldn’t believe it but I finally understood the meaning of the two experiences which were the same event as if time had stood still during all those years.

The tool is not a screwdriver but it’s what I use today to unscrew my consciousness in order to perceive reality as it really is.  It runs Windows.

You see, the materialistic society we are brought up into screws up our minds and we all need some sort of screwdriver to unscrew what is screwed.

This latest visit made me realize the importance of the tool, why the creatures were agitated, who they are, why they come and what their visits are all about.

The metamorphosis of young Etherians.