Nebulous Intimacy

Gud02

I don’t want to post, I want to talk. My mind needs stimulation. I need to interact with someone. I want an exchange of information to happen. Now. But I’m alone…

The Internet is the only connection I have so let’s see what I can do with it. I know there are people at the other end. I know that there is someone reading this at this moment.

I’m excited already. Crazy isn’t it? Two minutes ago I felt totally alone and separated from everyone, and now I feel a connection with a reader.

Hi, reader. How are you today? I’m good, probably because I’m doing what I love doing right now: writing and communicating intimately. But do not let the idea of intimacy frighten you away, please. I’m not going to have sex with you. Well not today anyway.

A one-on-one connection is an intimate connection. Something is going on right now between you and me. Admit it. When a writer writes and a reader reads, there is a transfer of information going on. Like the transfer of fluids between two lovers.

Maybe you are turned off by what I’m saying. I have no idea. I’m just typing words, you’re the one who fabricates images in your own mind. Do you like these images?

It’s interesting when I think that I have to power to provoque images in another person’s mind. It’s not mind control, it’s more like an intellectual influence.

It’s funny how the body reacts to thoughts. While I was typing the above paragraphs, there was a unexpected reaction in my body. I thought of telling you but I won’t.

I never expected our connection to be so explicit. It’s still quite early in the morning. But I enjoyed connecting with you. Now we have a relationship.

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3 thoughts on “Nebulous Intimacy”

  1. An intimate connection by written communication is something I’m not uncomfortable with, but only because I’ve always been more adept at sharing ideas and opinions through text, while talking about the same things verbally is a struggle to be confident and not anxious. I do think I have problems with personal intimacy when I can actually see and hear the person versus just speaking to someone online like this and getting my message across. There are aspects of personal intimacy I don’t exactly hate, like being able to hear how someone’s voice sounds like when he/she laughs or getting a whiff of their perfume or cologne. Eye contact still freaks me out, although I’m slightly better at giving eye contact and holding it sometimes. The exchange of ideas still happens verbally, but due to actually having to use my voice to speak than just typing, I often end up stuttering or speaking too fast to get the words out. Worst of all is feeling quite naked when the other person can physically see how I look and the fact I am being seen. To a certain degree I’d feel like I overshared a part of myself if I put photos of myself on my blog knowing that other people might see how I truly look, but I would feel better not having to know when exactly my photos are being looked at. I think I have discomfort about sharing my face online because I associate it with increased intimacy, particularly since I already speak very freely about certain things in my blogs, and by showing my face I’m giving people more access to who I am, which I am not comfortable doing.

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