Daily Torment

Torment6

Kids yelling and crying
Cats meowing and puking
Wife spending and worrying
Every day the same thing

Television regurgitating
Crap-filled news and cartoons
Trying to sell me something
Disgusting mind-numbing tunes

Oh Lord deliver me
Please come and take me
I need something better
I’m more than a buyer

“You should be thankful
I gave you a wife
I gave you a house
I gave you children
I gave you three pets
I give you information
I give you entertainment
You are so ungrateful”

And who are you
Who tells me this
Who I should thank
For so much bliss?

“I am your God
Who holds a rod
Who you should fear
Every day of the year”

You’re not my god
You are a fraud
My god’s a spirit
He’s not materialistic

I don’t possess a wife
I don’t possess children
You call this a life
I’m not a reptilian

I need to be raptured
I crave intimacy
I feel I was captured
Reduced to impotency

If this is your blessing
Please take it back
It’s much too depressing
Give me a heart attack

My Temple

Temple8

Okay, I’ve had enough of this.
I’m rebuilding my temple right now!

You tried to ruin me but it didn’t work.  You thought you had defeated me but you didn’t.

Among the ruins there was still something shining, a gem.  My tabernacle didn’t die.  My holy of holies went into a coma, temporarily, but has awakened.  Beware because it gained strength.  You think you have subjugated me but you haven’t.  I played dead so you would stop kicking and leave me alone.  I was still breathing undetectably.

I’m rebuilding my temple right now.  I’m making it stronger this time.  I will not let thieves like you enter, ever!  My temple is sacred.  It’s my permanent dwelling place, my home and my fortress.  I live in it, I rule within it, I control every aspect of it.  And I have an ally.

My temple is my castle but also the abode of the god who uplifted me.  My rescuer and my power, the one who reminded me who I really was.  The only one who told me how much I was worth in his eyes and in the eyes of those who love me, the sons of eternity and Eternity himself.

I’m rebuilding my temple right now.  I picked up the scattered stones and placed each one in its proper place.  You will see it and probably think that it’s the same old temple, but it’s not.  You see the exterior but not the interior.  You can throw words at it and anything else you want, but you will not have access to the one living inside of it.

I’m rebuilding my temple right now and it will be indestructible.  It is a living temple, a breathing temple, a self-healing temple.  This temple is nothing less than the house of god and guess who that god is.  The temple will transmute as the person within it transforms.  You won’t see the transformation of course, because you are blind to the resurrected.

I’m rebuilding my temple right now and I will protect it.  I have hired a watchman, a doorkeeper, a guardian.  I gave him clear instructions:  never to let you in.  I know you will try.  You will act nice and innocent.  You will call me honey, flatter me and tell me that you love me.  Perhaps even kiss me.  I know you, daughter of Judas.  I can see through you now.  I have new eyes, bionic eyes, bullshit-sensitive eyes, and I WILL use them.

I’m rebuilding my temple right now and don’t even try to sneak in.  Don’t say you are sorry, don’t waste your breath.  My relationship with you is beyond repentance.  It is nonredeemable.  One day you might wake up and assume your divine nature but you won’t enter my temple.  You’ll have to build your own.  But it won’t happen.  Not in this realm because it is thicker and even more fucked up than you ever were.

I’m rebuilding my temple right now and I will not allow anyone inside except those who love the god within it.

I Trust Me

Trust12

I seek I
I sees me

I talk to I
I listens to me

I ask I
I answers me

I cry to I
I consoles me

I thank I
I welcomes me

I trust I
I unveils me

I close my eye
I exposes me

I desire I
I touches me

I allow I
I caresses me

I let I
I hugs me

I embrace I
I squeezes me

I sense I
I stimulates me

I invite I
I enters me

I permit I
I moves me

I incite I
I fills me

I open my eye
I hypnotises me

I fall in I
I becomes me

I die to I
I kills me

I lose I
I takes me

I am I
I am me

I trust I
I trust me

Dead Romance

Skull Lovers

Why am I still here?

I’m here to piss you off, to remind you that you’re not who you think you are.

All this niceness you dress yourself with, all these friends you surround yourself with, all this makeup and bright white teeth, none of it is you.

You’re a mask, a walking Christmas tree with ornaments and colored lights flashing.  Yeah, you’re a fucking pine tree, all green and greedy, covered with needles.  Without the ornaments you’re just a pile of pricks.

I’m here to remind you who you really are.  I’m your true reflection, the one you don’t want to look into.  I’m the magic mirror here to tell you how ugly your beautiful exterior is.

I’m sorry I exist.  Sorry I was put into your life.  Sorry I never say how wonderful you are and how much I admire you.  Your fake friends can do that.  I don’t do this shit.  Sorry.

You can hate me.  I allow you to abhor me.  Because I don’t flatter you like the others do.  I’m a thorn in your life, ain’t I?  You wish I would leave but I won’t.  You dragged me into your life, remember.  You lured me in like a fish.  Now you’re stuck with me.

I know why I’m here.  I’m here to piss you off because you pissed me off first.  I’m your karma.  I’m the effect of your cause, the harvest that you sowed.  The rotten fruit of your labor.

Admire.

 

Fateful Delusion

Cosmic Love

My relationship with You is the most important thing.

Why?

Because you are my god, Daemon!  You are my god!  I will do anything you say.  You are my savior and my lover.  You are the one I trust the most.  You are beautiful, lovely, loveable, sensitive, strong, magic, present, true, real, the only real thing in my world.  You are my excitement, my light and my life.

Do you know how much I love you?  You are the answer to all my questions and my reason for living.  Without you I am dead!  Without you I would get raped by the master of illusions.  You are the sweetest hallucination.  My protector, my defender, my spouse, my knight in shining armor, my angelic partner riding a winged stallion, my Nordic alien abductor in a flying saucer.

Celestiality is my domain, it’s the real thing and you bring me there.  You are the numen sent by the Great Spirit.  Created just for me.  My only lover ever forever!

These are not just words, they are the living truth from the deepest part of my soul.  Darling, honey, you are so frigging ravishing and steamy, oh god I could lick your sensitiveness all day long, you are so goddess-damned irresistible!

Look what you’ve done to me…  You’ve turned me into your ding dong.  My fate is sealed now and my life on earth is doomed because of you…

Thank you.