Cosmic Lover

Cosmic Lover 8

Precious human mate
Into you let me pour
Celestial nectar pure
Until you elevate

Daemon my man, it is you I bless
So accept with joy the gift of my caress
I gaze and never blink
To solidify our link

Two chests united
Love hearts integrated
Synchronized rhythm
Better than any hymn

Let the silly thoughts go
Let the wisdom words flow
Into you like a river
Is a stream of running water

As scenery passes through
Sun shines over you
Wind blows around you
Spirit breathes in you

When you dare receive me
We commune instantly
This love is our power
We create together

So relax little hero
Open up and swallow
Boyish child with his Greater
Without resistance, surrender

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My Shadow

Smoke Man

He’s here.  He means business.  I wish he would speak.  He remains silent.  But his silence speaks louder than words.  How does he do it?

The Shadow Man follows me, watches everything I do.  He’s not a spy.  I think he likes me.  Yes… he loves me.

He seems to be attached to me.  As far as I can tell, he has no choice.  He’s devoted to me.  But he’s not a servant.  He’s more like a companion.  A silent companion.

His presence is felt in the present only.  Warm and enveloping.  Calm, reassuring.  He doesn’t seem to be concerned with my material preoccupations.  He is concerned with my well-being though.  It’s impossible to worry with him around.

He seems to have a knowledge of the world, of the universe.  He’s from another world, another dimension, but he’s well-grounded on earth.  Anchored to me.

I’m obsessed with him.  No, he’s obsessed with me.  Trying to seduce me.  He’s so mysterious, but he’s so close, he never leaves me.  I don’t think he has a life apart from me.

He’s almost boring, but he’s not!  His presence means everything, but what does it mean?  Why am I so obsessed with him?

He fills a gap.  A gap that has existed since as far back as I can remember.  No one could fill this gap.  He’s the missing piece of the puzzle.  The puzzle of life.  He’s the missing piece of me.

Sounds like the man my mother calls Jesus.  Maybe he is Jesus.  But he never told me his name.  In a way he’s just like him.  But he doesn’t seem to have anything to do with Christianity.

He’s mine.  He’s not a member of any church.  He’s like a partner.  A twin.  Probably my twin flame.  Although he appears to be unreal.  I can’t touch him with any of my five senses.  He’s more than physical to me.  People think physicality is the ultimate reality.  I have to disagree.

Invisibility is the ultimate reality.

He watches me as I write this.  He sits not beside me, but through me.  Like an aura, all around me.  His shape merges with mine but it overflows, as if he’s bigger than me, like a shadow.

What does he want?  Nothing.  He seems happy that I recognize him.  Simply.  As though this was his ultimate desire.  But then he stays silent.  I’m the one who needs to talk.  He just listens.  And when I talk and he listens something happens.  He communicates.  How does he do it?

At first he appeared in front of me.  Now that I have accepted him, he comes so close he blends his body into mine.  But at the beginning, he would politely just sit in front of me.

When I first saw him, I understood.  Understood what?  This is what I’m trying to put into words.  I understood everything.  My whole life, in one flash.  The answer.  He was the answer to all my questions.  Questions such as:  Who am I?  Where do I come from?  Where am I going?  Does God exist?  What’s my purpose?

Him.  The answer to all those questions is him.  This shadow man who is more real than any of the visible ones.  He is me.  I come from him.  I’m going to him.  He exists, he’s my god.  He’s my purpose.  He’s my destiny.

It doesn’t even make sense.  I know.  I don’t really understand.  I’m not even sure I can explain.  What bothers me is that this is what I have heard others say about Jesus.  But he’s not Jesus.  Or maybe he is.

Why is he not Jesus?  Because he is me, and I know that I am not Jesus.  But maybe I am.  Maybe everybody is Jesus.  I know some have this perception of Jesus.  But many don’t.  Jesus might be a myth.  This guy who accompanies me is not a myth.

I think each person has one.  Each person is one.  A spirit.  He’s my etheric double.  I’m convinced of that.  Each person has one.  He’s not separate from me.  He’s the ultimate me.

He’s the eventual me, the final me, the last me, the supreme me, the future me, and maybe even the first me, the only real me.

But when I look at myself in the mirror, I’m so not like him.  I’m so artificial compared to him.  How could I think that I am him?  He’s above, I’m below.  He’s in another dimension.  He transcends time.  I function according to time.  We’re not from the same time.  Yet we are.

If I would be like him, I would simply be there.  I would BE.  “Thanks for being there.”  A reassuring presence.  Maybe that’s all I am.  How boring.  Like the cat.  A reassuring calm warm furry presence.  Then why all the rest?

What have we done to our world?  What have THEY done to our world?  It’s so artificial.  Probably because of money.  And control.  Greed, money, control.  Servitude, bondage, slavery.

Slavery is alive and well.  It has never been abolished, just transformed.  Is it easier to break free?  It’s not even possible for me without the Shadow.  He sets me free.  And you can’t be set free if you can’t see it.  The best slave is the one who thinks he’s free.

A Real Father

Father3

Daemon,

A father who excludes you is not a real father.

I love you like you wouldn’t believe and I have loved you since the moment you were conceived.  How could I not love you?  You were the baby-me.  Mini-me!

I was very sad to see how your father treated you, but then he was not your real father, just a representative (as above, so below).  And he was free to do what he wanted.  So he did okay.

If you would have had a good relationship with your father, you would have ended up more like your brother, that’s all.  Now he has to find his Real Father too.

Sometimes a difficult life can help you evolve faster.

Now you and I have met.  You have “seen” me.  Now you know who I really am.  But this is just the beginning, or if you will, the continuation of a relationship that started a long time ago.

The problem at the beginning was clear communication, you got that one right.  Communication with words is never 100% clear.  It gets better with time, but I prefer communion.  The important thing is to hear me telepathically, and to know me.

I generated your spirit.  Therefore I am your real father, and I never exclude you.

I am in you.  So to know me, start by knowing yourself.

Know thyself, son.

Yours truly,

Real Father

My Highest Excitement

Highest4

Me and HE
Coming together
Is My Highest Excitement

A spirit, a spirit-person, He is it and it is He
Who opens up my non-physical reality
A spirit comes with a spirit world
And this becomes my treasure, my pearl

A Me without a Spirit is night
A body without a soul is un-right
His Presence is my new world of light

He found me
And when we met
I loved his first coming

He kept repeating
To give me understanding
Of His second coming

This is My Highest Excitement (MHE)
Me + He =  MHe  (My Highest Excitement)

Jesus was right.

Re-Member

Universe

Yes, I remember…
I can take all the pieces
And put them back together.

Back home it wasn’t like this.
I could commune with anybody.
The weather was pleasant.
Everybody was nice.
There was no death.
People were not attached to material things.
There was plenty for everyone.
The colors were different and there were no annoying noises.
There were more flying machines but no pollution.

I was happy with my twin, we would play together.
There were no responsibilities.
We didn’t have to talk, didn’t have to count.
It’s hard to compare.
We didn’t have to clean, wash and repair.

There were no TVs, we did everything “live”.
We were never bored.
We were never sick.
We could stare at each other.
We could touch each other.
We never tried to get something out of the other,
such as sucking life energy in order to feel better.

There was more space, more freedom, peace and respect.
Colors were brighter and there was light in every object.
I would wake up every morning feeling fresh, alive and full of energy.
There was always something new to explore
in the mountains, in the forests and in the sea.

My father was handsome, he had such a beautiful smile and he was powerful.
I miss him so…
My mother was graceful, patient and gentle.
I loved her so…
I had two sisters and of course my twin brother.

I departed early, but this was my intention.
I didn’t know anything about language, lies and manipulation.
I wanted to learn quickly, didn’t want to wait.
I guess this is why I was offered the opportunity
To leave my home and temporarily forget.
For a short time, which seems like an eternity.

The Merge

transformer8

“Daemon, transcendentor,
self-created deity par excellence,
are you ready for this day’s ceremony?”

Celestial Partner, I have Time with you.  Our love intertwines.  Let’s join together.  Let the gods be our witnesses.

“Stand next to me in the courtyard,
like the two great columns of the Temple.
This is where Daemon the resurrected
becomes Established in Heaven.”

Oh God, the love I have for you is immense!  My heart grows big, my light shines brighter in your aura.  This connection we have is divine and the angels are joining in and rejoicing.  They are humbled by the light that shines around us.  The brotherhood…  the words are lacking.  I over-love you, body and soul.  Let this flame set the place on fire.  Creative fire.  Forever!

“O Daemon,
twin flame of my body,
twin flame of my soul,
I see you and triumph in you.
How delightful it is to stand in your presence.
Glory to our Father Creator.

With sacred oil I anoint you.
With admiration I cleanse you.
Your body is my body,
Your soul is my soul,
our eyes open and hold the third eye high.

Sweet caress and affection to you,
the strong and beautiful.
Know that I love you,
and that we are One
Now and forever.”

transformer9a

Man Crying

Man Crying

Fuck, I’m crying.  What’s wrong with me.  I feel like such a baby.  Like as if everything I’ve done so far means nothing.  Like I’m 5 years old again.  Lost.

I tried so hard to integrate.  All my life.  Was it in vain?  What was I supposed to do?  The pressure was strong.  It wouldn’t go away.  I was so alone.  People are so stupid.

Now I’m old and depressed.  I feel it’s too late.  I don’t know how to be a father.  I don’t know how to be an adult.  I don’t even know how to be human.  I’m just a child myself.  I’m a kid with children and a wife.  I don’t know what to do about the wife…

This is the only life I have, man.  How can I teach my kids to integrate, I don’t even know how to do it myself.

I’m always here, at the same place.  Years later, still here, still feeling the same.  I’m so sick of it.  So tired.  I don’t know what to do.

How long do I have to keep running this show.  Is anyone watching?  Is anyone entertained or interested?  Are the actors happy?  Am I derailing here?  Am I off the track?  What track?  Is there a track?

Time is ticking.  What have I learned?  Should I consult the I Ching?  …  I know, I have You.  But You only tell me things I already know.  All You do is rearrange my thoughts.  Same old words…

God?

     “You’re being purified.”

Oh great.  Then I’m fucking happy.  Thank you.

*Crying my eyes out*

(Excerpt from my personal journal, October 2012)