The Future Me

Future Me

While I was trapped at the bottom of my depression, I started imagining what I would be like after death.  Would my soul go on living?  Did I even have a soul?  I didn’t know.  There was no way to know.

I read some articles on spirituality, trying to find something logical or meaningful to hang on to.  I couldn’t just decide to believe things I didn’t believe in.  Belief is based on experience.  My own experience, not other people’s experiences.

That’s the problem with the Bible.  It is a written account of other people’s spiritual experiences.  Not mine.  I have no way of knowing if any of it is true.

I joined an ex-Christian forum and I was reading some posts in the spirituality section.  I remember the topic was “The Higher Self”.  People were discussing this subject, and at one point a guy said:  “I imagine that the higher-self is my future self.  The future me.”

This idea struck me.  The Future Me…  how interesting.

I’m very familiar with the “past” me, because I’ve been keeping a personal journal, or a diary since I was 19.  So I am able to go back to the “past me” just by reading my journal.  I would even be able to help the past me, if only he could hear me and believe that I exist.

Now, extrapolate this idea to the present.  I know there is a past me, a present me, and a future me.  This is something I can believe which makes some sense to me.  If the present me can go back and help the past me (if only the past me believed that I existed and could hear me), then why couldn’t the future me come back and help the present me?  All I had to do was believe that he existed and “hear” him.

Is this a crazy idea or what!

Crazy or not, it’s something I could cling to because it kind of made sense to me.  It gave me hope.  And when you’re severely depressed and hopeless, you grab onto anything.

I couldn’t get this idea out of my mind anyway.  It’s the only hope I had left (that and being abducted by aliens), so one day I decided to take a step in that direction.

I was at home, sitting on the sofa, alone.  The house was quiet.  It was around 9:30 a.m.  I remember the date, it was in September 2012.  I decided to acknowledge the presence of the future me, right here right now.

Well lo and behold, something happened!

This is what I want to share on this blog.  I hope I will be able to find the words.

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1 thought on “The Future Me”

  1. Lo and behold are powerful words. I respect your integrity and courage to be real.
    Oh yeah, and I think there is a Disco Song called Got To Be Real, but I made a promise to myself, no more disco videos.

    Liked by 1 person

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